Lyrics

MORGAN JONES HAS A STINKY BLACK PUSSY BABY!!!!!!!

[Verse 1]
Joe was born with a skateboard soul,
Dreams duct-taped to the bottom of his sole,
He whispered "nineteen steamer trucks, no less,"
Then stared down death in a Food Lion vest.

Before the fame, before the flip,
He browsed the aisles on a discount trip:
Rotisserie chicken, $7.49,
Generic oat milk, store-brand kind.
He checked the price of beans—two-for-three,
Whispered, “Do I even need protein?”

And under his breath, like a whisper from Mars,
He muttered: “I can't Harrison A-Ford that… cars.”


---

[Verse 2]
His mentor bowed from old Kyoto’s street,
Taught him skate with fast-moving feet.
With a scroll and a stare and a whispering tone,
Joe nodded back, felt so grown.
But truth, dear friends, is often sad—
Joe didn’t understand a word the man had.

That man said, “技術は心から来る,”
Joe smiled and said, “Cool!” (He thought it meant “turn.”)
Turns out he never learned to ollie or grind—
Just kinda hoped adrenaline would rewind.

He cried out loud to a passing old bard:
“I can't Harrison A-Ford that… card.”


---

[Chorus]
Joe! Joe! King of the lot!
Bomb in the crowd and the pavement hot.
William Finger Black with a sack full o’ shoes,
Yelled “You’ll trip on these!”—but Joe refused.
“I’ve got a mission, I’ve got a plan,”
“I’ll flip these trucks like no other man!”


---

[Verse 3]
A state trooper leaned on his cruiser hood,
Joe begged, “Please, I would if I could!”
“You're supposed to help people, please!”
“Throw me a dollar, I’m begging on knees.”
The trooper blinked and cracked a grin—
“Kid, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard since ‘gin.’”

But slipped him five bucks, muttered “go die quick,”
Joe smiled wide—“That’ll buy me a Twix.”
In the crowd stood a man with a bomb on his chest,
Mumbling Beatles lyrics, looking kinda distressed.

And over the loudspeaker, who should speak hard?
The voice of a legend: “Japtain Picard!”
Then louder again, “Japtain Picard!”
Twice more he echoed across the courtyard.
“Japtain Picard!” “Japtain Picard!”
Nobody knew why, but damn it hit hard.


---

[Bridge]
William Finger Black threw shoes like rain,
Each one smelled like forgotten pain.
But Joe, sweet Joe, dodged left and right,
Leaped onto the ramp like a comet in flight.
And just as his wheels touched godlike height,
He whispered once more through the heavenly light:

“I can't Harrison A-Ford that… fight.”


---

[Final Chorus – Big Build]
Joe! Joe! He flew through the air!
Past the bomb guy, past the Food Lion glare!
Shoes beneath, a scream in the wind—
A legend began that would never rescind.

Joe! Joe! King of the lot!
He may not skate, but he gave what he got.
No clue what his mentor ever said to start—
But Joe had guts, and a warm golden heart.


---

[Outro – Whispered Over Static]
"Sometimes," said the ghost of Japtain Picard,
"Not knowing is the point."
And somewhere in aisle 7,
A can of green beans rolled gently to a