Thunderbox Serenade
🎸**“THUNDERBOX SERENADE”** (Performed by a slightly sweaty guy in cargo shorts with an acoustic guitar and zero shame)Lyrics
Intro – Spoken with fake drama]
“This is a song… about courage.
About vulnerability.
And about what happens…
When Taco Tuesday hits back… on a Wednesday.”
Strums a weird minor chord. Burps.
⸻
[Verse 1 – Slow and tender]
I woke up feelin’ brave, had coffee and three eggs,
Then I chugged a protein shake…
and did squats with both my legs.
But deep inside, I felt a rumble—
like a freight train made of doom…
So I waddled to my porcelain cave…
my sweet ceramic room…
⸻
[Chorus – Sudden rock power chord & exaggerated vibrato]
🎤💥THE THUNDERBOOOOOX!
Where legends sit and tremble!
The seat was cold, the tiles were bold,
The toilet paper’s disassembled!!
🎶 Oh sweet release, my bathroom beast, you know just what I neeeeeed…
🎸The THUNDERBOOX!
Where dignity goes to bleed.
⸻
[Verse 2 – More upbeat, tempo picks up]
I had one sock off, my shirt halfway on,
I texted my boss: “Working from home!”
The dog looked scared, the cat ran away,
Even Alexa said “Ew” and wouldn’t play Coldplay.
I prayed to the heavens, I clenched real tight,
Then reached for a candle and whispered “Goodnight.”
⸻
[Bridge – Spoken dramatically with gentle strums]
They told me never trust a fart…
But I was young. I was cocky. I had just eaten shrimp.
Now I’m sittin’ in shame… in the splash zone of regret.
⸻
[Chorus – Louder, crazier, now with fart pedal effects]
🎤💨THE THUNDERBOOOOOX!
My IBS karaoke stage!
Where my soul leaves my body
And comes back middle-aged!
🎶 It’s not just a toilet—oh no, it’s a quest!
🎸With that seat like a saddle
And hot lava in my chest!
⸻
[Verse 3 – Fast, ridiculous, audience clapping along]
There’s a plunger like a sword, a Febreze grenade,
A Costco roll of TP I heroically slayed!
I wrote this whole song on a bathroom wall,
Next to “For a good time, call.”
⸻
[Final Chorus – Flamenco flourish + weird high note]
🎤🎸THE THUNNNNNDERBOOOOOX!
My porcelain time machine!
Sometimes I go in at 2pm…
And come out in Halloween!
🎶 So raise your wipes, salute the stall—
Long may it flush for one and all!!
⸻
[Outro – Spoken, heartfelt, guitar fading out]
Thank you… Thunderbox.
You took my worst… and made it flushable.
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Thunderbox Serenade
🎸**“THUNDERBOX SERENADE”** (Performed by a slightly sweaty guy in cargo shorts with an acoustic guitar and zero shame)