Lyrics

“Dragons, Dice, and Fing Mayhem”*

(Verse 1)
Kick the fucking door, weapons raised,
This dungeon’s a shitshow, who designed this maze?
The bard’s already drunk, the rogue’s stuck in glue,
And the cleric’s like, “Seriously, I’m done with you.”

A goblin screams, “You’ll never win!”
I yell back, “Eat shit, you little shit!”
The mimic bites, the tank yells, “Fuck!”
And the wizard’s spell just blew us up.

(Chorus)
Dragons, dice, and dungeon fights,
We’re too stupid to know what’s right.
Explosions, traps, and goblin spit,
But we keep going ‘cause we don’t quit.
Through fire and chaos, we charge ahead,
Dungeons are hell, but it’s fun instead.

(Verse 2)
The rogue trips a trap—BOOM! Goes the floor,
“Hey, at least I found a fucking door!”
The bard’s singing loud, some nonsense tune,
And now we’re all cursed with a farting rune.

The dragon appears, with its eyes aglow,
The tank just screams, “Oh fuck no!”
I pull my sword, yell, “Let’s fucking dance!”
Then immediately trip on my goddamn pants.

(Chorus)
Dragons, dice, and dungeon fights,
We’re too stupid to know what’s right.
Explosions, traps, and goblin spit,
But we keep going ‘cause we don’t quit.
Through fire and chaos, we charge ahead,
Dungeons are hell, but it’s fun instead.

(Bridge)
The wizard casts Fireball—too close, of course,
Now the rogue’s on fire, and I’ve lost my horse.
The cleric’s swearing, “This is fucking bullshit!”
While the bard’s serenading a fucking mimic.

The dragon roars, we all go flying,
The tank’s in the back, straight-up crying.
I grab my axe, shout, “Fuck this beast!”
And accidentally hit the party priest.

(Breakdown)
Gelatinous cubes and slime that stinks,
Exploding barrels and broken links.
The rogue grabs loot and takes a dive,
“I’ll share it!” they yell—but we know they lied.

Giant spiders? Nope, not today,
Unless the treasure’s worth the spray.
We fight, we fall, we laugh and cry,
It’s dungeon chaos ‘til we die!

(Final Chorus)
Dragons, dice, and dungeon fights,
We’re too stupid to know what’s right.
Explosions, traps, and goblin spit,
But we keep going ‘cause we don’t quit.
Through fire and chaos, we charge ahead,
Dungeons are hell, but it’s fun instead.

(Outro)
So here’s to the madness, the fights, the loot,
To the wizard’s goat and the rogue’s pursuit.
We swear, we laugh, we fight, we fall,
Fucking dungeons—best time of all.