Handmade hell
Upbeat comedy male voiced funny dance beat electronicLyrics
[Verse 1 - Calm and Friendly]
Oh Hey, Susan, you’ve been real busy, I see,
Gluing rocks together and giving them to me.
A driftwood clock, a seashell cat...
Thanks, I guess, but what the hell is that?!
[Chorus – Slightly Sarcastic]
Oh, thanks! I’ve always wanted… whatever this is.
A jar of sand with a bow, yeah I'm sure I'll find a use. (Not!)
You shouldn’t have—no, really, you shouldn’t!
STOP MAKING THINGS, SUSAN, YOU JUST SHOULDN’T!
[Verse 2 – Starting to Crack]
I wanna be supportive, I really do.
But I don't need more macaroni and glue!
You twisted a paper clip into a ring? ....ok....
Susan, who told you crafts were your thing?!
[Chorus – Frustration Rising]
Oh, thanks! I’ve always wanted… to lie to your face.
“No, seriously, it’s beautiful, really! Great taste!”
You shouldn’t have—no, really, STOP IT, PLEASE!
Pinterest is a trap, Susan. LOG OFF.
[Bridge – Full Meltdown Mode]
And every time you come by, it's a handmade plague!
My living room is full of the shit you've made.
I'm sorry, I don't want to seem bitter but ....
MY ENTIRE FUCKING HOUSE IS COVERED IN GLITTER!
“Oh wow, is this a rock… on a stick?”
Answer me one question.....,WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!
[Breakdown – Chaotic Energy (shouting but still friendly)]
A wreath made of twigs?! WHY?!
A wine cork sculpture shaped like a pig?!
You glued googly eyes on a brick, Susan!
A BRICK! GET HELP!
[Quiet, Desperate]
“Oh, wow… another… thing.”
I’ll treasure it forever. Forever. I’m not okay.
[Final Chorus – Completely Done]
NO MORE. PLEASE. YOU HAVE GOT TO STOP.
NO MORE CRAFTS SUSAN PLEASE....
IM CALLING THE COPS
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