Pedro Song 2
dance, salsaLyrics
was eager to obliterate his competition. Going over the $500 margin of victory would cost him the bet.
Bob Marley was off to a good start, catching 10 rainbow trout and 6 Largemouth Bass, with 2 minutes to spare. Then 30 seconds later, a Great White Shark rose out of the water and swallowed him whole. The Jamaican crowd gasped in horror as they saw their icon disappear forever in a matter of seconds.
Pedro was dying on the floor laughing and everyone stared at him sickly. Pedro noticed the attention and said he was just laughing at the video of the nude WWE match between Sexy Shawn Vembenil and Dr. Roshan James. “Bob Marley’s dead?” he asked.
Due to the tragedy, Bob Marley was now disqualified and the speakers played Rap God, the whitest song ever to commemorate his unexpected death.
Mickey Mouse went next and was too busy jerking off to Disney porn that he didn’t catch a single fish.
Then after that, it was Duffy Chaney’s turn. Duffy was an underrated fisherman from the tiny, almost unknown village of Fort Wayne. Duffy spent his youth wrestling alligators and having sex with Rhinos. He had no real experience fishing before, but he did practice raping deer which almost translated.
Duffy racked up fish after fish after fish and finished a masterful round catching a grand total of 40 fish. 20 of them were Platinum Trout, 15 were Tiger Sharks and the last 5 were Indian pufferfish. The judge reviewed his net and marked Duffy with a score of $69. Duffy gasped and threw a fit.
“What the fuck!” he shouted, “All my fish were worth $1,000 minimum.”
The judge who knew nothing about fishing, Gordon Ramsey, said, “Yeah I’m sorry, I don’t know anything about this retarded contest but you were fined $1,000 for pissing into that Tiger Shark’s blowhole.”
Joe NYCE stared in glee with the $1,000 bonus check in his hand. “I love my job!” he shouted towards Duffy.
“Fuck you, you stupid redneck cop. I deal with bastards like you everyday.” he shouted as he took his clothes off and jumped on Joe’s neck.
Joe NYCE flung him to the ground and shot him in the dick. He then tased him unconscious and wrapped him in a body bag.
Pedro salivated as the arena rose to cheer him on. A whole section in the crowd was reserved for obese, shirtless Mexicans who spelled Pedro on their bodies with Chorizo sauce. The speakers blasted Gasolina as Pedro stepped up to the water.
Aroldis Chapman walked up to Pedro and yelled, “You stole my walkup song pendejo!”
Pedro laughed, “What are you going to do about it, shoot me like you did to your wife!”
Chapman threw a 100 mph fastball heading straight for Pedro’s dick but he smacked it with his fishing rod and it went flying over the stadium.
Pedro laughed again, “That’s all you do Chapman give up home runs! You fucking suck, now get the fuck out of here!” He bashed his head open with an epic Blue, 69-inch Cat-9.
Pedro w
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