Lyrics

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Verse 1

I woke up this mornin’, staggered to my screen
Saw that little spinner turnin’, oh what a sorry scene

My coffee’s goin’ cold, I’ve been waitin’ since last week
Can’t load a single meme, my patience is so weak

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Chorus

I got those slow-poke data blues, every page takes a cruise
Bufferin’ heartaches, desirin’ speed that I can’t choose
My router’s throwin’ tantrums, I’m howlin’ at the moon
Singin’ Wi-Fi Woes Blues, prayin’ speed comes back soon

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Verse 2

Tried to stream my favorite show, but it froze on Auntie May
We stuck in pixel purgatory, just hear that honky-tonk play

Slide guitar’s cryin’ while my Zoom still skips and stalls
I’d pay twenty bucks for broadband or just some faster calls

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Bridge

Just when I think I’m tappin’ out, piano jumps with a laugh
Keys go honk-a-tonk, remindin’ me I’m still on your behalf

Slide guitar moans a verse, like it knows this slow-mo pain
Dreamin’ of fiber-optic thrills, breakin’ out of this slow chain

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Chorus (Repeat)

I got those slow-poke data blues, every page takes a cruise
Bufferin’ heartaches, desirin’ speed that I can’t choose
My router’s throwin’ tantrums, I’m howlin’ at the moon
Singin’ Wi-Fi Woes Blues, prayin’ speed comes back soon

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Outro

So if your internet’s crawlin’, and your grin is turnin’ grim
Just pour yourself some bourbon, play these slide guitar hymns
We’ll laugh at our misfortune, let that piano stomp the floor
With Wi-Fi Woes Blues in our bones, we’ll sing it evermore