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Meanwhile, Rosita came out of the bathroom from taking a shower and walked out with frizzy hair and completely naked in the living room as the new baby child’s eyes were bulging out of their sockets while he was playing with his stuffed eduardo bear.

“Hey honey!”

“Man my feminine lifelong partner be lookin’ so damn… Ugly!”

“What?”

“Get rid of the frizzy hair!”


In fact, Rosita’s frizzy hair bothered Pedro so much he took a quick break from his fishing practice to give her a haircut. He sat her down in his special barber shop and made sure he locked up all the juicy heads in a special safe.

“Oh man I didn’t know you’re a barber, that’s so hot!”

“Well it’s just a side gig babe, fishing is still my main profession. Now sit down so we can get this over with.”

Pedro then took a vile of gel and squirted it in her mouth. The jelly-like fluids knocked her out instantly and Pedro got to work, shaving every single follicle of her on her head. He then squirted a separate gel up her ass which she barfed up her mouth and came back awake.

“So what do you think?”

Rosita looked in the mirror and nearly jumped out of the chair.

“Oh my god it’s gorgeous! I’m like Bonnie from Friends, no no, better yet Eleven from Stranger Things, wait no-”

Pedro smacked her on the back with a chainsaw unleashing a huge, milky wound that covered her entire back.

“Sorry I have to put some finishing touches.”

Pedro then hit her on the head with a broom to knock her out again and this time got to trimming. He then took a pair of really sharp X - ACTO scissors and began cutting her head open piece by piece. Before a layer of her skull was visible, the mighty Zohan crashed into the room from the top of the miniature shop. Zohan was wearing a pink, fluffy tutu and had gigantic, saggy boobs the size of teenage water balloons leaking out of his dress.

“Wazzup Pedro, seems like I have finally met my match! After all that fighting against that Phantom loser, I need a real victory! But I think you need a cool nickname first, like El Chapo or El Feo!”

Pedro clenched his teeth so hard that he swallowed his molars. His fists were grinded together so tightly and his arms so tight that he looked like he was having a stroke. He ripped his wife’s head off and chucked it at Zohan. Zohan dodged it and snagged it backhanded.

The bald, bloody mangled sphere, the only remains of Rosita Morales, a truthful martyr, had one last look at the world. Zohan brought her face to his and kissed her dead, pale lips before running out the store and punting it into orbit.

Pedro freaked, “That’s my wife! Only I get to punt her dead, decapitated head into outer space!”

Zohan pulled a pitchfork out of his pocket and careemed it into Pedro’s nuts. The rusty, farmhand weapon sliced itself through the jiggly meat of Pedro’s penis and up Pedro’s bladder.