Passenger in my skin

Songtext

[Verse 1] Coffee cup shaking in my left hand I can taste the metal of the spoon I've been driving past the same green sign Since a quarter past noon My shirt's too tight across my shoulders So I change it twice and leave it on the chair There's a version of me somewhere in this room But I don't think she's there [Pre-Chorus] I count the tiles between the door and the sink I hum a song I don't remember learning If I keep my hands busy, I don't have to think About the feeling I keep turning [Chorus] I'm a passenger in my own skin Watching somebody else drive I know the road, I know the turns But I don't feel alive I've been holding my breath so long I forgot what the air was for How do you live inside a body When you've been living next door? [Verse 2] My mother calls on a Tuesday night I let it ring and text I'm fine I stand out in the backyard Just to feel the cold define Something sharp and something real A fence post underneath my palm If I hold it hard enough Maybe the noise goes calm [Pre-Chorus] I'm not sad, I'm just not here Like a radio turned down There's a station underneath the static But I never let it sound [Chorus] I'm a passenger in my own skin Watching somebody else drive I know the road, I know the turns But I don't feel alive I've been holding my breath so long I forgot what the air was for How do you live inside a body When you've been living next door? [Bridge] Maybe feeling isn't something that you fall into Maybe it's a door you have to walk back through And every time I've numbed it down I've been the one who locked it So I put my feet flat on the floor And let myself unlock it [Final Chorus] I'm still a passenger sometimes Watching somebody drive But I'm learning how to hold the wheel And let myself arrive I've been holding my breath so long But I can learn what air is for I'm gonna live inside this body Even if I start next door [Outro] Coffee cup steady in my left hand I can taste the metal of the spoon