Lyrics

[Verse 1]
Well I put diesel in my car last week
Tried to pay with Monopoly money at the bank
Showed up to work on a Saturday
When the office was closed, now ain't that great?
My coffee maker caught on fire somehow
'Cause I forgot the water - don't ask me how
Yeah, the simple things just pass me by
Like knowing which shoe goes on which side
[Chorus]
Guess I was born without instructions
'Cause common sense ain't my production
Mama always said I'm special, that's true
Just not the kind she thought I'd grow into
[Verse 2]
Bought me a fish but forgot the tank
Tried to fix my roof, now it's got a way bigger blank
Called my ex to cry about my ex
Lost my car in my own driveway, what's next?
The microwave's smokin' from my fork inside
And my shirts are pink 'cause colors, they divide
[Solo]
[Acoustic guitar with sad sliding notes]
[Bridge]
Sometimes I wonder if there's hope for me
When I put salt in my coffee, sugar on my peas
But then I hear folks laughin' with me, not at me
And I realize maybe that's just how I'll be
[Verse 3]
Got my phone back from the repair man's shop
Turns out it was just switched off at the top
Asked for directions to where I stood
At least I keep the neighbors entertained for good
[Chorus]
Guess I was born without instructions
'Cause common sense ain't my production
Mama always said I'm special, that's true
Just not the kind she thought I'd grow into