Fat bastard

Lyrics

the only kiss I've had turned at to be a man played tuba in the high school band Pretend I'm gay and do bitches Spray tans Learnt to manicure Just to hold hands Pretend I'm blind at the beach And wear my ray bans and crawl around stealing chicks underpants last time I saw my dick was when I googled the word micro and the only way to see it is to Zoom in on the upload don't let that extra Chromosome keep you down don't let your hair lip make you frown don’t let that deformed head stop you wearing that crown who cares why their staring at least you got a crowd it may not be your mother but im sure SOMEONE out there would be proud when I do online dating from my fake profile they always want to small talk and ask about my lifestyle (“what inspires you”?) (“spite”) (“Whats your best angle”)? (“from behind”) (“your biggest asset”)? (“MY ASS”) (“what’s one thing you lack”)? (“oh that’s hard to choose”) (“What scares you most”)? (“my reflection”) (“what motivates you”)? (“Vagina”) (“What empowers you”)? (“desperation”) (“what do you look for In a woman”)? (“ a pulse”) (“are you hygienic”)? (“I’m sorry what does that mean”) have to use a drone when its selfie time the best thing about being fat is your hard to kidnap, easy to find my body is a temple with a food court inside always the bigger person when ever there’s a fight I’ve been on a diet switched from regular coke to diet haven't wiped my ass in years lve been wiping a dimple on my back got severe nappy rash all up inside my crack I have to take viagra or I pee on my nutsack Got a custom toilet cause the other one it cracked I'm Kurt cobaine but with less brains I'm micheal hutchinson but more straight I'm robin williams come lets hang let that Extra chromosome do it’s thing Im ashton kootchers brother the one deprived of oxygen I lost weight once nearly chocked on skin Arnold Swartz-en-eggers twin the one who plays the penguin When I take a piss Hit my face and the ceiling the insides of my undies are really unappealing So many chins Looks like I’m peering over a stack of pancakes if I don’t eat every hour my body gets the shakes im the only one I know who has prescription chocolate cake everywhere I go I carry 100 pounds of crack applied for biggest loser but said Im to fat thought my chin was my chest assumed I only had one breast have abseiling equipment just to get out of bed When I want sex they all object guess that makes me a sex object When I try to call a girl I always call collect I like to make them think that I am hard to get its like my hand resent my dick hasnt been in contact since I was 6 and now my dicks reclused inside my by half an Inch I hate the fact these tweezers pinch the closest thing I've had to love is when me and my priest would secretly hug only father figure I’ve had used to wink at me and slap my butt I seemed to be the only one who found it inappropriate