Lyrics

[Verse 1]
Out in the hills where the Wi-Fi dies,
Annabeth lives with stars in her eyes.
Married a man named David one time—
He proposed with a Mountain Dew and a possum spine.
Now he’s gone, or he might be asleep,
She ain’t checked the shed in a couple weeks.
[Verse 2]
She got four kids and a baker’s dozen grand,
Plus one lone boy with a kazoo band.
The rest are girls with matching tattoos,
Of a chihuahua howling at a pair of shoes.
She’s got great-grands too, but she lost count—
Somewhere 'round the thirty-seven mark, give or take an ounce.
[Chorus]
Annabeth’s got twelve damn dogs,
One grandson and a truck full of logs.
Works all day cleanin’ pill labs in disguise,
Feeds the homeless while swattin’ flies.
Her living room smells like love and doom—
And a little bit of wet dog costume.
She’s a housewife, a hero, a walking myth—
Lord have mercy, that’s Annabeth.
[Verse 3]
She keeps a shrine to Dolly Parton in the fridge,
Right next to pickles and a squirrel in a wig.
Wears pajama pants to every court date,
Taught her grandkids how to siphon V8.
Drives a truck named "Gloryhole Sue,"
Painted purple with a sticker: "I rescue YOU."
[Bridge – Slow & Dramatic]
She once made chili from a Halloween mask,
And sold it at church without being asked.
She keeps junk like it might get rich,
And if you call her crazy—well, she don’t twitch.
[Chorus – Full Band Now!]
Annabeth’s got twelve wild hounds,
That poop indoors and chase UPS around.
She’s newly single with a hoochie dream,
A glitter bra and a moonbeam scheme.
She gives hugs like a whiskey slap,
And she’s teaching yoga to her feral cat.
So buckle up, take a deep breath—
You just stepped inside of Annabeth.
[Outro – Whispered with Gospel Harmonies]
Meth Norton Hill will never be the same,
Since Annabeth rose up like propane flame.
If life’s a joke, she’s the best damn myth—
Queen of chaos… Her Royal Ruffness: Annabeth.