Lyrics

[Verse 1]
Chewy was born in a microwave bin,
Raised on Marlboro filters and tonic with gin.
Had a twitch in his eye and a tail full of sass,
Learned to pick locks and siphon your gas.

He weren’t no forest-livin’, tree-huggin' type,
He preferred burnt spoons and busted lead pipes.
Found a meth lab under old Miss May’s deck,
Now he’s wired up bad and a certified wreck!

[Chorus]
Chewy! Chewy! Lord, he’s chewin' through wires,
Set the outhouse on fire, then stole four tires!
He’s a raccoon menace with a crooked little grin,
Chewy done blew the trailer up again!
Ohhh Chewy! Sweet cracked-out soul,
You got more charges than a stripper pole!

[Verse 2]
He stole a Roomba, named it “Methhorse One,”
Rode it through Walmart yellin’ “I ain’t done!”
He bit a sheriff, flashed his junk at the sky,
Screamed, “Y’all ain’t real!” then tried to fly.

The preacher prayed, the town held mass,
But Chewy just moonwalked across the overpass.
He tagged the mayor’s truck with a raccoon paw,
And humped a gnome he thought he saw.

[Chorus]
Chewy! Chewy! Lord have grace,
He's got aluminum foil stuck to his face!
Smokin' Drano, high on beans,
Yellin’ at ghosts in the Dairy Queen.
Oh Chewy! You four-legged fiend,
With a meth rock stash in a Vaseline tin.

[Bridge]
Last we saw him he was eatin' a shoe,
Talkin' to possums about pay-per-view.
Some say he’s gone, but I say nay,
You smell burnt plastic? Chewy’s on his way.

[Final Chorus]
Chewy! Chewy! Lord lock your bins,
He’s back on the loose and tweakin’ again!
He’s the legend of junkyards, backwoods, and sin,
Chewy the raccoon with a meth-head grin.
Yeah Chewy! Mayhem on paws,
A trash panda outlaw without no laws!