Lyrics

meet Jason
his friends call him cypress
he’s always taking hits from that bong
insane in the membrane is his theme song
plays that track all damb day long
that mother fucker still gets the words wrong
common sense has long been and gone
all his cents and dollars got withdrawn
out chasing that imaginary dragon
what’s the worst that can happen
gets his gear cut from Sharon
who’s gets her shit from Karen
which is a coincidence cause sharing is care-en
but sharon hates karen and Karen hates sharon
meet Steve
ever since he heard about some government plan
to abduct Jackie chan
he’s now screaming (“WATCH OUT FOR THOSE AMERICANS ”)
next thing you know he’s on a one way to Afghanistan
found him ten years later running some kind of taliban with one hand
those Afghanies got some hectic contraband
meet Garry
Garry got this thift store kind of flair
and Stevie wonders far off stare
he’s begging for tick,
gets paid tonight he swears
but the cunt policy means
he’ll have to wait till then
now he’s all religious asking for drugs in his prayers
it’s like he thinks that drugs will just magically appear
now he’s screaming on the floor been reduced to tears
he’s making vows to Satan and he’s really switched gears
he’s hiding in a ceiling living in absolute fear
he’s vowed himself to Satan who at any time might appear
to burn in a pipe for eternity without any gear
meet James
he’s always low on the change
tends to just suck dick in exchange
thats why his teeth are re-arranged
but see james ain’t gay
so sucking dick it’s a pain
James just has to be brave
(“c’mon im sure this is safe”)
next thing James got a hemmorige’d brain
hes ruptured his cerebrum Vein
now James needs even more drugs to help with the pain
the hemmoridge certainly makes the drugs seem tame
he’s simply high from his blood thin-ang
now james is screaming (“HELP IVE BEEN DRUGGED”)
he’s tripping balls thinking the whole place has been bugged
the police show up and all james wants is a hug
his cousin Kenny tells him (“hey man SHUT UP”)
Kenny he’s out chasing phantom dollars
come what may
his words are all displaced his shoes unlaced
but Kenny’s just naturally off his face
the shit he’s been smoking has been laced
with the main ingredient in cake
he’s just high on bicarbonate everyday
and wonders why he can’t get high like jake
but unlike Kenny Jake’s drugs arn’t fake
but Jake can’t understand why he gets so much hate
Jakes to lazy to steal your things he just sleeps all day.
Can’t get a job because hes off his face
blowing up the Internet with built up hate
spreading conspiracies he loves to debate
call 1800
stuff that blasts your god damb speakers , wears the soles of your sneakers
stuff that tweaks us, ultimately peaks ya
uppers and creepers , trips and sleepers
I got shit in the litres, I got lines in the meters
shit that’s neat as, that goes straight to your penis (“hahahahaha PENIS”) (“grow up”)