Reschedulami la vita
Pop demenziale italiano anni 90Lyrics
(intro parlato - voce impostata tipo presentatore anni '80)
Signore e signori...
Benvenuti nel Call Center più assurdo dell’universo conosciuto!
Dove il tempo si misura in telefonate perse...
e l'amore in reschedul.
(strofa 1)
Marcello è partito in quarta,
ci prova con tutto il creato,
pure con la stampante e il micro-onde scassato,
"Signorinaaa, le va un caffettinooo?"
(e lei: "No grazie, sono un frigorifero industriale").
David tira jab al citofono,
romanista dentro fino ai mitocondri,
si scalda sulle chiamate perse,
"FORZA ROMAAA!" — pure ai clienti dell'INPS.
(mini ritornello)
Tuuuuuuttoooooo beeeeeeneeeee?
Chiede Erika mentre salta la linea.
Tuuuuuttoo beeeeeneeeeee,
ma chi glielo dice che siamo in quarantena?
(strofa 2)
Magliulo canta una hit da brivido,
stonata come una fisarmonica rotta in tangenziale,
Castelli intanto spinge il pancione,
e assume il comando tipo Napoleone.
Andrea regna tra i reschedul,
ha più rimandi che Netflix il sabato,
ma sotto sotto ha l’occhio languido:
(pensiero interno: "la amo, e lei ama le ferie").
(parlato finto serio)
Nel frattempo Manuela distribuisce cuori d'oro,
come se fossero volantini al mercato di Vigevano.
(mini ritornello)
Tuuuuuttoooo beneeeee?
Grida Erika tra uno squillo e una lasagna.
Tuuuuuttooooo beneeeee,
se non ti senti, chiama il tecnico... o chiama Gloria!
(strofa 3)
Gloria che vive a Garbatella,
e spedisce messaggi subliminali a Manu,
"Te pregooo, famme un sorriso!"
intanto il centralino esplode tipo fuochi d'artificio.
Sara, l'ultima arrivata, ci guarda stranita,
e pensa: "Oddio questi sono clinicamente compromessi",
ma sotto sotto ci vuole già bene,
perché siamo i migliori fuori dai manicomi aziendali.
(finalone in coro tipo gospel)
Siamo i Re del Call Center!
Tra bestemmie mute e caffè bruciati!
Siamo la voce dell’Italia che chiama...
(...e mette giù dopo 15 secondi.)
(outro parlato - tipo Elio in stile finto romantico)
E ricordate colleghi...
nella vita potete cambiare lavoro, partner, serie TV...
ma un reschedul...
non si nega mai a nessuno.
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