Lyrics

Verse 1

Carol’s got a cross ‘round her neck and a scowl in her purse,
Been married six times and each one was worse.
Now she’s got Charlie — they met in the fog,
Kept it top secret, like some neighborhood blog.

She works the phones for Disney’s dream,
But says Splash got “changed for them,” if you know what I mean.
Named her vacuum Donald — it roars and it grunts,
And just like her hero, it sucks when it fronts.

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Chorus

🎵 Code Name: Carol — they whisper when she comes,
With her church shoes clackin’ and a mouth full of crumbs.
Gives side-eyes to strangers, forgets your name too,
But says “babies of color are beautiful”… like it’s brand new.
🎵 Code Name: Carol — flies in on a prayer,
Might ride a broomstick through suburban air.
She loves Elton John, “but not all that gay,”
It’s Carol’s world, we’re just in the way.

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Verse 2

She sits in the pew just to stir up the tea,
Talkin’ ‘bout who wore what and who’s had some “work done” recently.
Carol’s the queen of the backhanded cheer,
“I just think it’s interesting… not sayin’ it’s weird.”

Holidays come, and the family hides,
Pretendin’ to nap when her Buick arrives.
Her cologne is regret, her opinions are loud,
She’ll say “bless your heart” then judge in a crowd.

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Chorus

🎵 Code Name: Carol — a whisper and a sigh,
A sweet tea spill with a side of white lie.
She’ll kiss your baby, then say something wild,
Like “that’s a beautiful urban child…”
🎵 Code Name: Carol — her memory’s fried,
But she’ll remember who you voted for, deep inside.
She thinks Trump is “chosen,” like some divine plan,
And thinks every Starbucks is run by “the trans.”

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Bridge (spoken with echoing background vocals)

She said,
“I’m not racist, I just miss the old rides…”
Then spun her vacuum in tight little circles
And muttered about “back when Disney had values.”

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Final Chorus

🎵 Code Name: Carol — beware when she grins,
She’s blessin’ your soul and countin’ your sins.
The family avoids her, but she doesn’t see,
Calls everyone “darlin’”… except for Tiffany.

🎵 Code Name: Carol — too odd to be tamed,
Still signs her Christmas cards with the wrong name.
She’s churchy, she’s messy, she’s caught in the past —
Carol’s the hurricane you hope blows past.

⸻

Outro (soft, piano only)

She’s got Jesus on speed dial and Fox News on loop,
And a vacuum named Donald that sounds like a coup.
If Carol shows up… don’t answer the bell.
She’s code name Carol — and she’s raisin’ hell.