Certified Banger
Over-the-Top Rock ComedyLyrics
(Verse 1 – Confident, Almost Too Confident)
Alright, first things first—lemme tell ya real quick, We’re ‘bout to make a song so sick,
It’s got power chords! It’s got a catchy beat!
And lyrics that mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, BUT SOUND REALLY NEAT!
(Pre-Chorus – Dramatic Build-Up!)
Now add a little woooaaahhhh (WOAAAHHHH!) And a yeah yeah yeah! (YEAH YEAH YEAH!)
Now we sound like every song that's ever gone PLATINUM IN A DAY!
(Chorus – The Part That’ll Make Us Rich!)
THIS IS A HIT SONG! (HEY! HEY! HEY!) EVERYBODY SING ALONG! (HEY! HEY! HEY!)
YOU DON’T KNOW THE WORDS BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER, JUST SCREAM REAL LOUD AND MAKE IT SOUND BADDER!
(Epic guitar riff into second verse)
(Verse 2 – Over-explaining Why This Song Works)
We’ve got one big note that we hold out too long, We’ll repeat the chorus—AGAIN?—oh yeah, THREE TIMES STRONG!
And don’t forget a breakdown that’s super soft, Before we BRING IT BACK LOUD AND MAKE THE SPEAKERS POP!
(Pre-Chorus – SAME THING BUT EVEN LOUDER!)
Now add a little woooaaahhhh (WOAAAHHHH!) And a yeah yeah yeah! (YEAH YEAH YEAH!)
At this point, everyone’s lost their mind, But they’ll STREAM IT NONSTOP ‘TIL THE END OF TIME!
(Chorus – Bigger, Dumber, and Absolutely Unstoppable!)
THIS IS A HIT SONG! (HEY! HEY! HEY!) YOU’RE ALREADY SINGING ALONG! (HEY! HEY! HEY!)
WE DON’T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER, ‘CAUSE IT'S TRENDING NOW AND IT’S CLIMBING FASTER!
(GUITAR SOLO THAT GOES ON WAY TOO LONG!)
(Bridge – The Obligatory Emotional Moment)
Now we break it down real soft, real sweet, Let the crowd wave their hands to the easy beat.
Whisper something deep—"This song… changed my life…"
Then—BOOM! BACK TO THE CHORUS LIKE A SPEEDING MOTORBIKE!
(Final Chorus – The Victory Lap!)
THIS IS A HIT SONG! (HEY! HEY! HEY!) PLATINUM IN A DAY, CAN’T BE WRONG! (HEY! HEY! HEY!)
SOLD OUT SHOWS AND PRIVATE JETS, AND I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT THESE LYRICS MEANT!
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