Lyrics

{Intro – [dramatic thunder sound, spotlight hits]}

🎶
He wasn’t always like that!!
You smug little bastards weren’t there!!
You didn’t see the poetry!
The calves! The hair!
🎶


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{Verse 1 – [melodramatic sob-singing]}

🎶
He was HOT, he was SMART,
He was LUTE-PLAYING ROYALTY!
Wrote love songs with his actual hands—
Then signed death warrants... poetically.

Debated popes and priests!
Spoke Latin while fencing!
He composed music!!
And then—
Then came the...
Horse incident!!!!
🎶


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{Chorus – [arms outstretched, lightning behind you]}

🎶
He wasn’t always like thaaaaaaaat!!!
He used to smile, you pricks!
Before the ulcers and trauma
Made him paranoid and thick!!
Was he unhinged? Yes!!
Did he murder? Also yes !!
But his heart once beat with...
Renaissance Finesse!!!
🎶


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{Verse 2 – [wild piano under monologue]}

🎶
He made his own potions!!
He tried to cure people!!!
Yes, they died—but not on purpose!!
He was TRYING!!!
He was Trying!!! [Sustained]
Don’t you get it!?!? 🎶 (Judgy assholes!!!)


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{Bridge – [wind machine, shirt slightly unbuttoned]}

[You sit there judging from your mattress on the floor,
Posting memes like he was just some bloody serial dater—
BUT WHERE WERE YOU
WHEN HE FELL OFF THAT HORSE?!
🎶
Unconscious for TWO WHOLE HOURS!!!
That changes a man!! 🎶


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{Final Chorus – key change, sob-yelling into the void}

🎶
HE WASN’T ALWAYS LIKE THAT!!!
He wore feathers and tights!!
He threw BANGER MASKERADES!!!
He fought with words and rights!!
But a king with a limp gets cruel in time—
AND NOBODY TALKS ABOUT HIS LYRICAL RHYME!!!

🎶
SO MOCK HIM IF YOU DARE,
BUT KNOW YOU MOCK A FALLEN STAR!!
HE MAY HAVE KILLED A FEW WIVES,
BUT DAMN IT—...HE RODE HARD. 🎶


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{Outro – [spoken, out of breath, mascara running]}

[He was a lot of things.
But he was also...
...hurt.


Henry, you're more than a Tyrant ... to me. [Sniffle]