The Crypto Way
Mid-1990s Bubblegum Punk Pop, whiney male vocalsLyrics
[VERSE 1]
It all started about three fucking years ago:
I became a member of some shit called Honeygain.
There was a weird cartoon bee floating around,
And it said it would pay me just to watch me browse the web.
So I said, "Heck, yeah!!", when my twelve-pack had three beers to go.
I'm guessing I was either shit-faced drunk, or temporarily insane.
For eighteen months I clicked here and there on that bee, and found
That it was adding like a penny and a half every few weeks, and when I had enough to cash out, I'd probably be dead.
[CHORUS]
And then Honeygain said, "Now I'm worthless. Get this other thing called Jumptask."
So then I got Jumptask, just for it to tell me, "Go screw yourself."
And then there was Binance, then Binance-dot-U.S., then Pancake Swap, and then D.E.X.s and B.N.B.s.
And I was all, "What is all this confusing shit?!"
But no one was ever answering me.
So I got so God damn mad
And I reminded myself of my Dad
The first time he tried to program a V.C.R.,
So I slammed a fifth of Tequila, and got in the car,
And I drove up a mountain that was really far
Awaaayyyyyyy...
And I still wish I died that daaaayyy...
Ain't that the Crypto waaaaaayyyy.......
[VERSE 2]
So I wrestled with these foreign concepts like I was Hulk Hogan.
But unlike the Hulkster, I was always destined to lose.
I got continuously body-slammed by N.F.T.s and block chains,
And finally, some naked, fat dude layed on top of me, and crushed me for three seconds, and then I died.
[BRIDGE 1]
What are tokens?!
I don't get what the fuck these "tokens" are!!....
[;````CHORUS]
And then Honeygain said, "Now I'm worthless. Get this other thing called Jumptask."
So then I got Jumptask, just for it to tell me, "Go screw yourself."
And then there was Binance, then Binance-dot-U.S., then Pancake Swap, and then D.E.X.s and B.N.B.s.
And I was all, "What is all this confusing shit?!"
But no one was ever answering me.
So I got so God damn mad
And I reminded myself of my Dad
The first time he tried to program a V.C.R.,
So I slammed a fifth of Tequila, and got in the car,
And I drove up a mountain that was really far
Awaaayyyyyyy...
And I still wish I died that daaaayyy...
Ain't that the Crypto waaaaaayyyy.......
[BRIDGE 2]
Jump for joy with your tokens,
'Cause all they are is imaginary fake tokens!..
And they left me broken!!!
[CHORUS]
And then Honeygain said, "Now I'm worthless. Get this other thing called Jumptask."
So then I got Jumptask, just for it to tell me, "Go screw yourself."
And then there was Binance, then Binance-dot-U.S., then Pancake Swap, and then D.E.X.s and B.N.B.s.
And I was all, "What is all this confusing shit?!"
But no one was ever answering me.
So I got so God damn mad
And I reminded myself of my Dad
The first time he tried to program a V.C.R.,
So I slammed a fifth of Tequila, and got in the car,
And I drove up a mountain that was really far
Awaaayyyyyyy...
And I still wish I died that daaaayyy...
Ain't that the Crypto waaaaaayyyy.......
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