Fanged Foie Gras
TrapLyrics
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Title: Joegath the Maw Lord (Crocodile Cookin’)
(Beat kicks in, heavy bass, war drums thudding)
[Intro – Whispered ominously]
Yeah…
He came out the warp with a can in his claw...
The Tenacious Crocodile Boyardee…
Joegath...
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[Verse 1]
I'm Joegath, the Maw Lord, meat's never thawed,
Spittin' so raw they serve me at a Chaos God’s smorgasbord.
Afghanistan tan, got that desert drip,
Still pole vault three yards—don’t need no whip.
Boyardee brain, but my sauce never soft,
Spaghetti in my spine, I ravi-rollin' like a boss.
Jurassic Park in my heart, I leave III in the dark,
But Labyrinth’s my vibe—'cept MirrorMask? I gotta saw that part.
---
[Chorus]
Crocodile teeth like dice from Khorne,
Roll a nat 20 when I'm snackin' on a unicorn.
Tenacious, audacious, malicious with glee,
I'm the Crocodile Boyardee—rippin’ meat like poetry.
Nom nom nom like a tyranid feast,
I'm so raw I get invited to vegan priest retreats.
Meat sweats glisten like Slaanesh’s kiss,
I'm that beefcake war-snake that never misses.
---
[Verse 2 – Stupid Pun Barrage]
I’m a Salamander with grammar, spittin’ flamin’ syntax,
Called my abs the Codex, 'cause I’m stacked with six packs.
When I bench-press, I impress—Space Hulk flex,
Even the Necrons resurrect just to show me respect.
Waaagh-juice in my veins, Ork-mode ignite,
I'm so lit, Commissars quote me in mid-fight.
Tyrant in the gym, Hive Mind on my mind,
You pole vault high? Bro, I poll vault—opinion climb.
---
[Bridge – Slower, intense tone]
He’s the Crocodile in the trench, Boyardee with the wrench,
Slappin' lasguns with ladles, leaving psykers in a pinch.
His dreams eat dreams—like a Carnifex nap,
He’s rawer than steak in a Hormagaunt trap.
---
[Final Chorus – Goofy Hypeman Style]
Yo Joe! Jurassic Pro!
Prefers the first, forget the third—ain’t that so?
Likes Labyrinth’s vibe, but MirrorMask?
He hacks that flick like it’s Night Lords’ task.
So salute the Duke of Doom Cuisine,
The Crocodile Boyardee, the Warp's top machine.
If your meat ain’t red and your rhymes ain’t dumb,
Then Joegath’s gonna slap ya with a Chaos bun.
---
[Outro – Echoed chant]
Joegath!
Tenacious! Audacious! Ferocious! Bodacious!
Crocodile Boyardeeeeee...
Dinosaur
(Ends with the sound of a can opening, then a dinosaur roar)
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