Lyrics

{Intro – dramatic, orchestral build}
🎻


"Gather ‘round, peasants, and heed this tale,
Of lords and ladies… looking kinda pale."


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{Verse 1 – Vaudeville bounce}
🎶 We’re the rulers of the land, so refined and so divine,
Our bloodline’s got a pedigree... and only half a spine.
We married all our cousins, for power and prestige—
Now we drool in fancy parlors and can barely eat our quiche! 🎶

{Pre-Chorus – swing rhythm}
🎶 Born to lead, so full of grace...
With twelve generations of the same damn face! 🎶


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{Chorus – full rock flair, Queen-style harmonies}
🎶 Keep it in the crown! (Keep it in the crown!)
No need to look around! (Look around!)
Why mix the gene pool, when you can just... rebound?
We’re royal, loyal, boilin' with pride—
And three extra toes we try to hide!
🎶 We’re elite! We’re divine!
And we’re barely doin’ fine!
🎶 So keep it—keep it—keep it in the crown! 👑


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{Verse 2 – harpsichord under sarcastic vocals}
🎶 Our chins could plow a field, our eyes go diff’rent ways,
But we still declare ourselves the peak of all displays.
The Habsburg jaw, the Tudor cough,
“Is that your uncle?” “No, it’s my future spouse, piss off!” 🎶

{Bridge – dramatic key change + choir}
🎶 Destiny by birth!
Divinely decreed!
Just… don’t ask how we got this nosebleed!
(HALF OUR FACES DON’T BLEED RIGHT)
🎶 “We’re chosen by God!” they still declare…
While drooling on a velvet chair.


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{Breakdown – slow, sultry whisper}
[Spoken: Over sexy jazz beat]
🎷
"Genetic diversity is for peasants.
Real power comes from… marrying your aunt."


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{Final Chorus – explosive, over-the-top Broadway belt}
🎶 Keep it in the crown! (Keep it in the crown!)
Let the bloodline circle ‘round! (Circle 'round!)
From castles tall to padded rooms…
We’ve ruled the world, and now eat with spoons!
🎶 We’re regal! We’re brittle!
We tinkle when we giggle!
🎶 So keep it—keep it—KEEP IT IN THE CROWN!
(Even if we… forget how to sit down.) 👑


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{Outro – fade out with echoing voices}
👻
🎶 Aristocraaaaazy…
You can’t spell "noble" without "NO!" 🎶