
âBallad of Bobby Shermanâ
An 80s Power Ballad of HVAC and Hijinks
(Performed in the key of Heart + REO Speedwagon energy)
[Verse 1 â soft keys and synths]
Heâs got Freon in his veins, and a wrench in his hand,
Bobbyâs out there fixinâ units, heatinâ up this land.
Owns his own biz, yeah heâs the HVAC king,
While Cindy clicks through stocks and adds another bling.
Out in the garage, where the reefer smoke rolls,
Heâs laughinâ with his ghosts, got animatronics for souls.
From eight-foot werewolves to scream-activated ghouls,
This ainât your average stepdad â he breaks all the rules.
[Chorus â drum crash, synths rise like a wave]
Bobby Sherman, man of the hour,
Jeans from Menardâs, tearinâ with power.
Hits his head at The Annex, tryinâ to scare,
Falls in your lap and pretends he meant to be there.
Heâs got love, heâs got fire, heâs got that Sherman flairâ
Oh Bobby, Bobby, youâre a legend beyond repair.
[Verse 2 â guitar solo leads in, then drops into verse]
Thanksgiving chaos, a tableâs no shield,
He hides beneath, then rises â WHAM â battlefield.
Cousins with a wild streak, stories they wonât tell,
Except that time they spun poor Rusty like a dryer carousel.
Rusty grinned, just takinâ that ride,
Till fate caught him slippinâ on the highway side.
He loved fast wheels, and yes, Aunt Nellie too,
Bobby still laughs, but you know it runs deep through and through.
[Chorus â guitars soar, background vocals echo âBobby!â]
Bobby Sherman, with his joint and a grin,
Rippinâ denim at Cellar, never lettinâ life win.
Day trader by morning, stoner by dusk,
Heâll fix your AC then ride off in a puff of musk.
Oh Bobby, Bobby, the man, the myth, the muskâ
A little bit of genius, and a whole lotta what the fââŚ
[Bridge â emotional piano + shredding solo]
He ainât perfect, nah heâs wild and free,
But he keeps Cindy happy, and thatâs all it needs to be.
She shops, he fixes â a love built on trades,
Like stock charts and ductwork in HVAC arcades.
[Final Chorus â full crescendo, hands in the air, lighters lit]
Bobby Sherman, you beautiful soul,
With your haunted house dreams and that laugh that just rolls.
You fell into laps and into our hearts,
A stepdad, a legend, a man of all parts.
So hereâs to the denim, the weed, and the talesâ
To Bobby freakinâ Sherman, may your airflow never fail.
[Outro â fade out with soft keys and a faint echo of a laugh hitting a table leg]
âOofâdamn table againâŚâ
âŚBobby⌠Bobby⌠BobbyâŚ
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