Lyrics

Intro Skit – 0:00-0:10]

(whispered background vocal loop, low echo)
VOX (Female):

“Girl… he said he was fixed.”
VOX 2:
“He ain’t fixed nothin’ but my back. I’m 3 months late…”
VOX (Both):
“Oh lawd… she done got Hogleg’d.”

⸻

[Hook – 0:10-0:30]

“Eighteen years… that’s my retirement plan.
Leave yo girl limpin’—then she file that scan.
You said pull out? I did — with a grin on cam.
Now she pregnant… and you just Uncle Stan.”

“Eighteen years… I don’t need no 401K.
Just need one more simp to slide in her way.
You cuffed her up—I raw’d her the next day.
Congrats, now you fundin’ my HOA.”

⸻

[Verse 1 – 0:31-1:15]

“I ain’t toxic, I’m strategic — plantin’ seeds like a farmer.
You call her baby girl… I call her baby mama.
While you at work, I’m in her room in pajamas.
I ain’t even had to lie — she knew the drama.”

“No Plan B, she skipped that aisle,
She want a legacy with Hog, not a weak profile.
You took her to brunch, I took her to trial —
And the judge said ‘Sir, you owe the child!’”

“I ain’t broke, I just rotate chicks,
Gettin’ checks like direct deposit hits.
Said she was yours? I just grin and nod —
’Til your kid come out lookin’ like the God.”

⸻

[Hook – 1:15-1:35]

“Eighteen years… that’s my retirement plan.
You brought her roses—I brought her a van.
I pulled up smooth, no shirt, full tan.
Now her son call me ‘Uncle’… but I’m his man.”

⸻

[Verse 2 – 1:36-2:10]

“You flexin’ crypto? I’m tax-free rich,
My empire’s built on pregnancy kits.
You playin’ stepdad, doin’ the chores —
While I’m countin’ up child support scores.”

“No prenup, no plan, no clue what’s next —
She got my name tatted while you paid her ex.
It’s not revenge, it’s just finesse —
You raised my son, so I could rest.”

“Now I golf on Tuesdays, chill on the lake,
Thanks to the cash that your paychecks make.
I told y’all clowns, this ain’t a fling —
It’s a paternity-powered cha-ching!”

⸻

[Hook – 2:10-2:30]

“Eighteen years… that’s my 9-to-5.
One baby mama for every ride.
She wanted security—you just lied.
So I stepped in, and she let me slide.”

⸻

[Bridge (Chopped & Screwed) – 2:30-2:50]

(Voice slowed, pitched down)

“I gave you a chance…
Now you fundin’ my advance…
All she want is a man who stands…
Mr. Hogleg, stretchin’ out the plans…”

⸻

[Outro – 2:50-3:10]

(Skit fadeout – same girls from intro)

“Girl, you think he gonna stay?”
“Nah… he got another baby shower Tuesday.”
“Ugh… I still can’t walk straight.”
(laughter fades out with beat)