Lyrics

Yo Mac, I’m serious... something ain’t right,
That lady in the floral dress just bit a fork—twice.
Name’s Christina, right? She’s vibin’ too loud,
I feel like we just walked into a funeral crowd...
MAC?!

[Verse 1 – Mac, pissed off and tired]
Caleb, sit down, breathe through your shirt,
She’s just a witch. Don’t act like it’s your first.
It’s Tuesday, man. Fried chicken day.
Ms. Mae’s tea is coldin’, my nerves fray.

Been comin’ here twenty-two years, like church.
Now I gotta hex-proof my napkin perch?
Can’t a man eat drumsticks without a spell?
But naw—Christina came in with her laugh from hell.

[Hook – Group, chant it loud]
🎵 Can’t a man eat lunch without a witch?
No broomstick leanin’, no eye twitch twitch.
Just hot thighs and a biscuit round,
But here come a spell, floatin’ off the ground.
One bite’s all I want today—
No frogs in my tea, no forks that pray.
But damn—
Same ol’ glitch, same ol’ switch...
Every fried Tuesday, another witch. 🎵

[Verse 2 – Christina, unhinged and oddly glamorous]
Mac, baby, guess who’s back from the storm?
I been dreamin' in lava and unicorn corn.
Got sand in my ears from Maui last week,
Caught a curse on my ankle while swimmin’ with a freak.

Miami? Girl, please—I run that zip.
I cast on the boardwalk with a mango whip.
Don’t mind my teeth, yeah, they like to breathe,
Gap so wide you can hide a thief.

I bake cobbler with intentions,
My fork got visions.
And your little apprentice?

(looks straight at Caleb)

“Caleb, you sweet... but you drip fear in dimensions.”
[Verse 3 – Caleb, panicking]
Okay okay okay I was just tryna learn,
Didn’t know forks could sizzle and turn.
Mac, she licked the salt shaker.
Twice.
Why is my tea screaming like bagpipes??

[Verse 4 – California Kyle, wandering in like it’s brunch time]
Yo y’all, vibes are wild in this chicken spot.
Smells like trauma and biscuits got hot.
I’m just cruisin’, lookin’ for snacks...
Also—uh, where is the cat?
Seriously, y’all seen a tabby with shades?
He was in my van vibin’ to some synthwave...

[Verse 5 – Mac, pulling the switchblade]
Kyle, go vape in the parking lot.
Caleb, shut your eyes if it gets too hot.
Christina, I ain’t impressed with your beach trip hex—
Tryin’ to curse my lunch like a parlor trick flex?

I’m too old, too greasy, and too damn fried
To deal with your chakra-swirlin’ anti-soul ride.
I came here for chicken, not a séance with teeth,
So cut the theatrics before I burn this wreath.

[Final Hook – Whole Crew, full beat drop]
🎵 Can’t a man eat lunch without a witch?!
No goo in the greens, no fork that snitch!
Caleb’s twitchin’, Kyle’s lost,
Christina’s hummin’ like her brain got tossed.
It’s chicken day! My holy rite!
Don’t make me fight with ketchup in sight.
Just one damn meal with no paranormal glitch—
But nooo...
Same ol’ table, same damn witch. 🎵

[Outro – Christina, purring weirdly into the wind]

“Mac, love... see you next Tuesday...
Maui’s waitin’... and so is the moon.”