Lyrics

[Verse 1]
Back then I felt safe, never questioned the night,
family at the table, warmth holding me tight.
Mother, father, children, together we ate,
brothers moving forward, standing tall in their fate.
Sisters stood for love, pure and bright,
I thought this was forever, nothing breaking that light.

I sat there in comfort, thought this all was for sure,
no worries, no shadows, no weight to endure.
It felt like a fortress, strong, locked tight,
but deep in my chest there was cracking inside.

I started to stumble, slowly losing my fight,
my heart turning empty, love fell out of sight.
Tried to hold on to what I never had right,
so I reached for the bottle, thought it gave me some might.

Every sip was a poison that kept me shut,
every line in the night left my soul cut.
I laughed with the crowd but my eyes turned black,
mask on my face, but my heart split and cracked.

Then came you, dad, so gentle, so near,
for the first time I felt: father and son here.
We spoke man to man, I felt that bond grow,
but death pulled you away, too fast, too low.

I was left in confusion, why you, why then?
I had just found my father, and lost you again.
That pain drained my soul, set fire to my brain,
hard drugs in my system, drowning in shame.
Tried to run but I sank like a stone in the rain.

It went on too long, night after night,
bottle after bottle, line after line.
A trip to the bottom, each day too hard,
dark voices kept whispering: you’re done, fall apart.

I looked in the mirror, saw a stranger inside,
a broken reflection, cold eyes, dead light.
No future, no hope, everything torn,
I thought to myself: this is it, I am gone.

But silence came suddenly, one Christmas night,
no drugs in my veins, no bottle in sight.
A voice deep within said: this is not how you end,
stand up, make yourself, show who you’ve been.

So I dropped all the poison, broke lines on the floor,
I started new plans, searching for more.
No escape in the venom, but a path I create,
I fell down in pieces, but rose twice as great.

Now I carry my scars, they hold me in line,
they remind me each day that this strength is mine.
It is raw, it is heavy, but I’m whole, I’m alive,
no slave to the night, I’m the man who survived.

Family’s my harbor, but I sail my own sea,
with storms in the past and the sun ahead of me.
I’m present and absent, but finally free,
my heart still beats — but this time it beats with me.

I lost almost everything, even you, dad, one night,
but you live in my eyes, in my fire, in my fight.
The nights were a hell, but they carried me through,
to a new version of me — stronger, more true.

[Outro]
I hope you can hear this, dad, though you never foresaw,
I find myself back with a strength you once saw.
I can think of you now, without anger or pain,
just a man who remembers — and can smile again.