
“Ballad of Bobby Sherman”
An 80s Power Ballad of HVAC and Hijinks
(Performed in the key of Heart + REO Speedwagon energy)
[Verse 1 – soft keys and synths]
He’s got Freon in his veins, and a wrench in his hand,
Bobby’s out there fixin’ units, heatin’ up this land.
Owns his own biz, yeah he’s the HVAC king,
While Cindy clicks through stocks and adds another bling.
Out in the garage, where the reefer smoke rolls,
He’s laughin’ with his ghosts, got animatronics for souls.
From eight-foot werewolves to scream-activated ghouls,
This ain’t your average stepdad — he breaks all the rules.
[Chorus – drum crash, synths rise like a wave]
Bobby Sherman, man of the hour,
Jeans from Menard’s, tearin’ with power.
Hits his head at The Annex, tryin’ to scare,
Falls in your lap and pretends he meant to be there.
He’s got love, he’s got fire, he’s got that Sherman flair—
Oh Bobby, Bobby, you’re a legend beyond repair.
[Verse 2 – guitar solo leads in, then drops into verse]
Thanksgiving chaos, a table’s no shield,
He hides beneath, then rises — WHAM — battlefield.
Cousins with a wild streak, stories they won’t tell,
Except that time they spun poor Rusty like a dryer carousel.
Rusty grinned, just takin’ that ride,
Till fate caught him slippin’ on the highway side.
He loved his skateboard, and yes, Aunt Nellie too,
Bobby still laughs, but you know it runs deep through and through.
[Chorus – guitars soar, background vocals echo “Bobby!”]
Bobby Sherman, with his joint and a grin,
Rippin’ denim at Cellar, never lettin’ life win.
Day trader by morning, stoner by dusk,
He’ll fix your AC then ride off in a puff of musk.
Oh Bobby, Bobby, the man, the myth, the musk—
A little bit of genius, and a whole lotta what the f—…
[Bridge – emotional piano + shredding solo]
He ain’t perfect, nah he’s wild and free,
But he keeps Cindy happy, and that’s all it needs to be.
She shops, he fixes — a love built on trades,
Like stock charts and ductwork in HVAC arcades.
[Final Chorus – full crescendo, hands in the air, lighters lit]
Bobby Sherman, you beautiful soul,
With your toilet handle dreams and that laugh that just rolls.
You fell into laps and into our hearts,
A stepdad, a legend, a man of all parts.
So here’s to the denim, the weed, and the tales—
To Bobby freakin’ Sherman, may your airflow never fail.
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