
āBallad of Bobby Shermanā
An 80s Power Ballad of HVAC and Hijinks
(Performed in the key of Heart + REO Speedwagon energy)
[Verse 1 ā soft keys and synths]
Heās got Freon in his veins, and a wrench in his hand,
Bobbyās out there fixinā units, heatinā up this land.
Owns his own biz, yeah heās the HVAC king,
While Cindy clicks through stocks and adds another bling.
Out in the garage, where the reefer smoke rolls,
Heās laughinā with his ghosts, got animatronics for souls.
From eight-foot werewolves to scream-activated ghouls,
This aināt your average stepdad ā he breaks all the rules.
[Chorus ā drum crash, synths rise like a wave]
Bobby Sherman, man of the hour,
Jeans from Menardās, tearinā with power.
Hits his head at The Annex, tryinā to scare,
Falls in your lap and pretends he meant to be there.
Heās got love, heās got fire, heās got that Sherman flairā
Oh Bobby, Bobby, youāre a legend beyond repair.
[Verse 2 ā guitar solo leads in, then drops into verse]
Thanksgiving chaos, a tableās no shield,
He hides beneath, then rises ā WHAM ā battlefield.
Cousins with a wild streak, stories they wonāt tell,
Except that time they spun poor Rusty like a dryer carousel.
Rusty grinned, just takinā that ride,
Till fate caught him slippinā on the highway side.
He loved his skateboard, and yes, Aunt Nellie too,
Bobby still laughs, but you know it runs deep through and through.
[Chorus ā guitars soar, background vocals echo āBobby!ā]
Bobby Sherman, with his joint and a grin,
Rippinā denim at Cellar, never lettinā life win.
Day trader by morning, stoner by dusk,
Heāll fix your AC then ride off in a puff of musk.
Oh Bobby, Bobby, the man, the myth, the muskā
A little bit of genius, and a whole lotta what the fāā¦
[Bridge ā emotional piano + shredding solo]
He aināt perfect, nah heās wild and free,
But he keeps Cindy happy, and thatās all it needs to be.
She shops, he fixes ā a love built on trades,
Like stock charts and ductwork in HVAC arcades.
[Final Chorus ā full crescendo, hands in the air, lighters lit]
Bobby Sherman, you beautiful soul,
With your toilet handle dreams and that laugh that just rolls.
You fell into laps and into our hearts,
A stepdad, a legend, a man of all parts.
So hereās to the denim, the weed, and the talesā
To Bobby freakinā Sherman, may your airflow never fail.
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