
I thought this year would be the best,
Surrounded by six — forget the rest.
My ride-or-dies, or so I assumed,
But they flipped the script, and now I'm fumed.
It was a cold and hungry night,
Post-championship, feelin’ right.
I needed food, my stomach cried,
Heard there was nacho cheese inside.
A tub of gold? Too good to be true,
My mouth said “sip,” my brain said “cue.”
'Cause who just leaves a nacho lake?
Something’s off — it’s clearly fake.
Now six suspects, each with charm,
But deep down? They mean you harm.
Madeline Tinskey, sweet on the face,
But that girl’s lying all over the place.
She’s got the Catholic look, the charm, the glow,
But trust her? Nah — that’s a “no.”
Alex is next, full of spite,
He’ll roast you wrong, then claim he’s right.
He’s got the farts, he’s got the sass,
He’ll sit on your face and gas your class.
Xavier Heller — tall and thin,
You think he’s cool 'til you let him in.
He walks like he’s chill, talks with some grace,
But he kinda just looks like your mom in the face.
Olivia Wiley, all bubbly and smiley,
But don’t let that fool you — she’s really quite wily.
She’ll snack on your chips and then your whole drawer
She’s hungry as heck and she don’t give a peck
Castle Dettinger, kitchen king,
But the stuff he cooks is a creepy thing.
He doesn’t bake bread, doesn’t fry fish —
He cooks up freshmen like it’s his wish.
With spice and dice and evil glee,
Run, little ones, or you’ll be his tea.
(He’s sad now too, love’s taken its toll,
His Catholic girlfriend took his soul.)
Then there’s Aleya, sweet little dove,
But she’s got that fake “bestie” love.
She’ll smile, nod, say “I got your back,”
Then gaslight you into a panic attack.
She's just like Maddie — looks so kind,
But she’s schemin’ behind that sweet girl mind.
So listen up, RAs, yeah I saw the twist,
You thought it was clever — I’m legit pissed.
Don’t pull that again, not once or twice,
Or you’ll learn the hard way, I don’t play nice.
I fell for your trick, I admit with some sorrow,
But mess with me once — regret tomorrow.
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