Billy Won't Stop Honkin'

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[Verse 1] The gate swung wide at quarter past noon Mabel hit the ditch like a runaway moon Bessie took the shoulder, Clyde took the lane And Billy hit the horn like a freight train [Pre-Chorus] He hollered, “Move!” through the window glass But the cows just blinked and let him pass [Chorus] Billy won’t stop honkin’, honkin’ all day long He thinks these cows are out here doing something wrong They’re headed for the clover, they’re headed for the creek Billy’s sounding like a goose with a sore throat every week Billy won’t stop honkin’—somebody tell him, please They’re cows, not criminals, just hungry and loose in the breeze [Verse 2] Rosie found a garden, ate the county sign Daisy wore a traffic cone like a party hat fine Old Blue stood sideways in the middle of the road While Billy laid down harmony on that horn overload [Pre-Chorus] He waved both arms and shouted, “Back!” Rosie licked his mirror and started chewing the snack [Chorus] Billy won’t stop honkin’, honkin’ all day long He thinks these cows are out here doing something wrong They’re headed for the clover, they’re headed for the creek Billy’s sounding like a goose with a sore throat every week Billy won’t stop honkin’—somebody tell him, please They’re cows, not criminals, just hungry and loose in the breeze [Bridge] We brought a bucket, a rope, and a bale A little sweet talk and a rusty pail The cows came home when the sun sank low Billy kept honkin’ just to let us know [Instrumental Break] [Final Chorus] Billy won’t stop honkin’, even now they’re in the pen He says he saved the county, then he starts it up again The cows are safe and chewing, the road is finally clear But every time a tractor passes, Billy disappears Billy won’t stop honkin’—that’s his chosen song If he ever finds the off switch, we’ll all sing along [Outro] Mabel’s in the pasture, Clyde is by the gate Billy’s in the driveway, honking just in case