This Time I Stay

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Verse 1 I was seventeen with nowhere inside me Big enough to hold the life I’d made You were talking about forever I could only hear the doors closing in my face I thought leaving meant surviving Thought distance could erase what I’d done So I walked away before I even knew If our baby was a daughter or a son Pre-Chorus I told myself I’d done the right thing Till the years proved me wrong You can run away from a moment But the moment follows along Chorus So I came back for the little girl I’ve carried in my heart for years Never knowing if she’d hate me Never knowing if you’d let me near I came back thinking she was all I needed to make right someday Then I saw you standing there And every feeling came awake I ran when I was seventeen Because leaving felt safer than love But I know what I want now And this time I stay Verse 2 You look at me like I’m a stranger And maybe that’s what I deserve You’re protecting everything I abandoned While I’m begging for the chance to earn One smile from her nearly breaks me One angry word from you does too Because somewhere beneath all that distance I’m still the girl who loved you Pre-Chorus I thought you married me from duty I thought your heart was never mine Now I’m hearing all the words We should’ve said the first time Chorus So I came back for the little girl I’ve carried in my heart for years Never knowing if she’d hate me Never knowing if you’d let me near I came back thinking she was all I needed to make right someday Then I saw you standing there And every feeling came awake I ran when I was seventeen Because leaving felt safer than love But I know what I want now And this time I stay Bridge I can’t undo seven birthdays I can’t hold the baby that I missed I can’t give you back those lonely nights Or change the way that story is But I can stand here when it’s frightening I can stop looking for the door I can love our daughter every tomorrow And love you better than before Final Chorus I came back for the little girl But I found the life I left behind Found the man I thought had never loved me Still carrying me all this time I don’t expect forgiveness To erase what yesterday became But if you’ll let me have tomorrow I won’t throw it away I ran when I was seventeen Now I finally understand love It isn’t staying when it’s easy It’s staying when you’re scared enough to run So take my hand I’m not walking away This time… I stay. Outro No suitcase by the doorway No goodbye left to say This time I stay This time I stay