Buzz‑Ball Brawl

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PASS THE BUZZ BALL (to the tune/spirit of “Rock the Casbah”) Now the lads told all the drinking men, “You’ve got to get that Buzz Ball down” The table in the corner Had been shaking all around Big John grabbed a strawberry one, Said, “This barely tastes like booze” Twenty minutes later He was dancing in his shoes Dave don’t like it Pass the Buzz Ball, pass the Buzz Ball Dave don’t like it Pass the Buzz Ball, pass the Buzz Ball By order of the landlord, “We’re calling this the final round” But someone found another crate Of brightly coloured rocket fuel around Then Chris produced a purple one, That looked like something from a lab He took one sip, went cross-eyed, Then tried to fight a kebab As soon as the bartender Had turned around They began to yell— Dave don’t like it Pass the Buzz Ball, pass the Buzz Ball Dave don’t like it Pass the Buzz Ball, pass the Buzz Ball Now over by the fruit machine They’d really packed ’em in John said, “Mine’s basically juice,” With Buzz Ball dripping off his chin Then somebody changed direction, And attempted shots of five The whole pub caught a whiff Of that absolutely terrible idea Dave don’t like it Pass the Buzz Ball, pass the Buzz Ball Dave don’t like it Pass the Buzz Ball, pass the Buzz Ball The landlord called the bouncers up, He said, “You better earn your pay” “There’s four grown men attempting To steal that traffic cone away” But as soon as the lads Were escorted out of there John produced another Buzz Ball From somewhere nobody dared As soon as the bouncer Was outta their hair The whole group wailed— Dave don’t like it Pass the Buzz Ball, pass the Buzz Ball Dave don’t like it Pass the Buzz Ball, pass the Buzz Ball Dave don’t like it He says, “That one tastes dodgy” Pass the Buzz Ball, pass the Buzz Ball Dave don’t like it Still drinks it quite happily Pass the Buzz Ball, pass the Buzz Ball Dave don’t like it John’s lost another jacket Pass the Buzz Ball, pass the Buzz Ball Dave don’t like it Chris has somehow got a traffic cone Pass the Buzz Ball, pass the Buzz Ball Dave don’t like it Nobody knows whose round it is Pass the Buzz Ball, pass the Buzz Ball Dave don’t like it PASS THE FUCKING BUZZ BALL Pass the Buzz Ball, pass the Buzz Ball!