LOLcow Lullaby (The Bedbug Tapes)

Lyrics

[Verse 1 – “Bugged Out”]
Yeah, welcome to the dungeon, scabs on your dome,
Bedbugs feast while you cry all alone.
Rats in the walls, beard droolin’ like a dog,
You ain’t king of nothin’ but mildew and smog.

Stole beats, stole art, AI-made trash,
Then you gaslight your fans like it’s platinum and cash.
You flex stolen flows like you built that throne,
But it’s clear every song’s just ChatGPT clone.

Caught a charge beatin’ granny, yeah we saw that file,
Now you throwin’ hands in jail, but dropped the soap with style.
Delusional Cy, thinks he’s got fans in droves,
But it’s trolls with popcorn watchin’ you implode.

Same traps, same baits, fall every damn time,
Click a fake link, and you screamin’ online.
You’re a circus act with scabs for a crown,
With a face like roadkill and a voice that drowns.

⸻

[Hook – Chant / Mock-Sung Style]
🎵
You ain’t viral — you infected, that’s a fact,
Scabs on your head while the bedbugs snack.
Dropped the soap, now you droppin’ the act,
LOLcow King — now bow to the rats.

Snaggle-tooth grin, got kicked from class,
Diddled blind Billy, now you haunted by the past.
AI beats, but the brain don’t match,
Claim you got heat? Just fungus and rash.
🎵

⸻

[Verse 2 – “LOLcow Lullaby”]
Fought Marty in the yard, caught a fade like a punk,
Swung once, then retreated — like a scab-covered skunk.
Tried to flex with tech, but it got swiped twice,
“N-word Boi” ran the drop, then William took your life.

Supposed to get a laptop? Nah — got a toy,
Fisher-Price screen, perfect gift for the boy.
Didn’t pass class, stuck in high school like jail,
Age 23, still flunkin’ on the Braille.

Kicked out the halls for that blind kid Billy,
Snaggle-tooth smile, said “come sit with me silly.”
You a menace with crayons, predator with pride,
Should’ve been cuffed long before that ride.

Yo talent? Fiction. Yo fans? Deceased.
You dream of stages, but can’t spell “beats.”
Claim you got heat? Just fungus and rash,
All your tracks trash — AI-made mash.

Swear you a legend, delusion on tilt,
Whole career built from community guilt.
Every comeback ends with a scream and a ban,
You the easiest mark in the trollman plan.

⸻

[Hook – Repeat / Outro Style]
🎵
You ain’t viral — you infected, that’s a fact,
Scabs on your head while the bedbugs snack.
Dropped the soap, now you droppin’ the act,
LOLcow King — now bow to the rats.

Snaggle-tooth grin, got kicked from class,
Diddled blind Billy, now you haunted by the past.
AI beats, but the brain don’t match,
Claim you got heat? Just fungus and rash.
🎵