The House Always Eats

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Verse 1 There’s a saloon down the highway where the desperate men all go, With a green felt table and a chandelier aglow. The whiskey’s cheap, the stakes are high, the owner dresses fine, And there’s a velvet rope around the table where the richest fellows dine. Now the dealer’s got a silver tongue, the sheriff’s got a seat, And the banker keeps a ledger of the souls he’s yet to eat. They say that every man gets a chance if he’s willing to ante up, But the owner owns the cards, the floor, the whiskey, and the cup. Verse 2 Old Charlie sold his farm one year to get himself a start, Put his wedding ring and pocket watch and every dime he had to heart. He played against a gentleman who never seemed to lose, Who could borrow from the banker and write off all his dues. Charlie caught him palming aces, saw him whisper to the guard, But the dealer only shrugged and said, “Son, life deals pretty hard.” Then the sheriff cleared his throat and said, “There’s nothing I can do,” While the gentleman bought the building that the sheriff’s office stood. Verse 3 Now there’s a bell above the doorway that rings whenever someone wins, And the owner takes a little cut before the celebration begins. He’ll buy a round for all the losers, tell them luck will turn around, Then he’ll mortgage out their futures just to keep them coming down. And the preacher comes on Sundays, says the game is fair and square, While the banker funds the sermon and the owner buys the chairs. There’s a sign above the bar that says, “Every man can rise,” But the ladder’s in the owner’s vault, and the stairs are all for hire. Alternate Final Chorus So don’t go blaming just the dealer, don’t go cursing just the cards, When the man who owns the table owns the building and the yard. You can play until you’re buried, you can pray until you drop, But you’ll never beat a game where the house decides when to stop. And the owner tips his whiskey as the last poor fool walks out, Says, “It’s a free world, friend, you had your chance, what you got to cry about?” Then he locks the doors behind him, counts his silver in the dark, And buys himself another deck before the morning starts.