Lyrics

[verse]
just how mean I am
I might just drop a letter off at the post office without a stamp on it
Ooooo that’s just mean!
Honery!

[verse]
I might step to an old man using a walker and say “nice ride”
I might cut you off unexpectedly with a fart when you’re speaking
I’m dangerous to my environment

[verse]
I might have food or drink go down the wrong pipe while I’m eating and have no expectations of it working out on my behalf
I might not clip one toenail why? Why not!
I may give you the benefit of doubt and maintain your innocence while a witch-hunt has it out for you, uninspected
I might cut an eight slice pizza further into sixteen slices so more people can have a piece
Ooooooo so mean

[verse]
I might hold the door open at a gas station for an entire family which prevents you from getting inside too quickly to pay for your pack of smokes
I may pronounce your name correctly putting you into a tailspin because everyone always messes it up and you’ve long since grown used to it
I’m terrible
I might figure out a way that something can get done and that will totally lay waste to any opportunity to drag it out indefinitely or be non-committal about it

[chorus]
Man I’m mean
I’m so mean
Damn mean
Definitely wearing meany pants

[verse]
I may cook dinner or pour you something to drink so you don’t choke out
Maybe worse also provide you with a napkin and all the necessary utensils to partake in any aspect of the meal
Whoa that is mean!

[verse]
I might float you a loan or give you the shirt off my back
If you have a flat tire I might even help change it or even give you a ride to a service station so you can get it fixed and back on the road
I might say hello and smile when you’re clearly having a rough day and hating life and people
For real mean!

[chorus]
Man I’m mean
I’m so mean
Damn mean
Definitely wearing meany pants

[bridge]
I might call you unexpectedly and when you pick up I might ask you if this is a good time to talk and actually give you choice in the matter

[chorus]
Man I’m mean
I’m so mean
Damn mean
Definitely wearing meany pants

[verse]
I might sneeze and have no expectation of you saying bless you
I might pet a random dog or cat because they came up to me and laid at my feet exposing their belly
I might play games with kids so they have fun and laugh
Or I might make sure that an infant gets some rest on a comfortable pillow with a blanket
Just so damn mean!

Don’t get me started that I’ll wear my seatbelt in the passenger seat so you don’t get a moving violation
Take that! Yea uh! Mean!