Snoring Is My Nemesis

Lyrics

[Intro – Spoken with sass, light background music] “Babe… you won’t like how this song ends. But your snoring gives me no option. [Verse 1] It starts off sweet, you’re holding me tight Then your nose revs up like a dirtbike at night I counted sheep, I tried earplugs too But I can not block, the Wookiee inside you [Pre-Chorus] Tried rolling you over, put a pillow on your face You just kept hacking like a pig eating mace I love you, babe, but here is the tea— Your REM fills me with total misery [Chorus] This is a snore war, baby, and I’m losing the fight You’re sawing logs acting like a lumberjack at night I sleep on the couch with a blanket and wine While you’re in the bed makin’ thunderous rhymes When you close your eyes- it’s a horrific sight So now I will sleep alone… again tonight [Verse 2] You deny it all—“I don’t snore that loud” Then why’d the dog leave? Even he tapped out I’ve got the recordings,a full mixtape Call it “Snore Volume 2: Hells Earthquake” [ending– Dramatic & over-the-top] (Spoken, music fading) I tried love, I tried lavender, I tried white noise But you’re louder than a Saturday night with the boys I didn’t want this, but here’s your fate I’m done putting out, so you better….. masturbate