Lyrics

[MOVIE SAMPLE INTRO]
("There are, no doubt, a countless amount of undiscovered species of fauna living upon this planet... It is our job to discover them!!")

[VERSE 1]
Afront the cave, I light my torch.
I claim its mouth as my new porch.
My headlamp blazes; it lights the way
For me to venture where no humans play!

At first glance, I seem to be alone,
But I still hit "Record" on the screen of my phone.
Move slowly left to right, then told my feet, then above -
The ceiling reveals what I'd been suspicious of!

[BRIDGE 1]
Hanging silently just above my head -
A new species of bat - its fur, a deep, dark red!
Maya Heegah came with me - she wanted to, she said!
She's naming every new species we find, and she called this bat Fred!

[CHORUS]
There were so many fukkin' animals!
We had no need to be tactical!
This shitt was so fukkin' radical!
After it, I'm gonna need a sabbatical!

[VERSE 2]
So Maya's eyes were wide with wonder and joy,
And I felt like I was once again a young boy
Who was getting first view of things never seen!
Just me, and Maya Heegah - the Animal Queen!

As we ventured further, deeper through the cave,
Maya snapped her head to her left - man, this chick was brave!
We aimed every light at that damp cave's wall,
And that was where we saw this long and fat thing crawl!

[BRIDGE 2]
We got closer to see if it was something new!
Lo and behold, it was! So Maya named it, too!
Looked like a human's penis, legs up and down each side!
Asked Maya, "What's its name?", and all she said was, "Clyde."

[CHORUS]
There were so many fukkin' animals!
We had no need to be tactical!
This shitt was so fukkin' radical!
After it, I'm gonna need a sabbatical!

[BRIDGE 3]
I must've looked at her weird then!
Those names were really strange!
Seems like our animal expert
Might be a little deranged!..

[SHREDDING GUITAR SOLO]

[BRIDGE 4]
The cave went forward for three miles!
On the way, we saw new insectiles!
One looked like a breast with big, black eyes!
That weirdo Maya named it Gertrude - no joke, guys!

[VERSE 3]
Just before the dead end, we both saw movement on the ground!
We lit it up, and saw what looked like scrotums piling 'round!
With pubic hair antennas that pointed towards our eyes,
I had my reservations about what she'd name these guys!

Found out I was right, but wished I had been wrong!
I wondered, seriously, if Maya Heegah had snuck in a bong!
Her mouth, a static straight line - I was all, "What the fukk?!"
After the longest thoughtful silence, what she said was Chuck!

[BRIDGE 5]
Shot Maya an inquisitive glare, to which she shrugged, and skipped away!
"Man, is this chick all there?!" Is what I wanted to say!
Instead I followed her to the final wall,
Where we would meet the last animal of all!

It was a wingless mammal covered in kinky, coarse hairs!
With maybe one good name, my stream could get some shares!
This creature's back displayed a crease, vertical, and ending in a hole!
Could not believe my ears when she named it Joel!!.....