Lyrics

The silence is deafening
The silence is deafening
My soul is shattered
I’m only alone
I’m trying to atone
Nothing I do is enough
I’m sitting here waiting
In the silence that’s deafening
Will someone lend me a hand
I’m just soloing on my one man-band
With the occasional pick me up
But even with the temporary high people bring
It all comes crashing down
When they leave
The cruel reality I live is that even with all these people backing me
I still can only rely on myself
I’m reminded of this every single time I’m alone
Waiting on someone to offer me their hand
But they never can give me what I need at the time that I need it
So I’m sitting here alone
Writing out everything
Hoping it’s enough
But it’s just a temporary comfort
Because it’s still not what I want
The reality I live is far from the reality that I dream of
I can’t hold it
I can’t grasp it
It’s unimaginably far away
I love so much
It hurts so much
Sometimes I ask myself why
I’m sitting here by myself
In the silence that’s deafening
Wondering why I’m here

When people finally arrive in my hour of need
I can’t stomach letting them in
Because I’m afraid of being a burden
I just want to run away
To a place that’s just me
That’s just a pit of deafening silence
Even though I wish I could accept help
To accept their love
It somehow feels wrong
How could I ever deserve it
In this place of deafening silence
I only ever knew how to hide
Behind every facade
In every little nook
I presented that everything was okay
In doing this
Every little lie
Was a cry for help
But every time I had the opportunity
I just shunned them away
Because I was afraid
And when they wouldn’t chase after me
I could feel it inside
The voice that said
“They didn’t care enough”
And it would cripple me.
“I wasn’t worth the effort”.
In this deafening silence, I’m still waiting
For the one who will chase me.

Will it be him?