Santa's Unruly Visit
Dark horror-comedy, discordant piano , sinister female vocals, eerieLyrics
(sing to the tune of "Jingle Bells")
I heard a reindeer hoof, then Santa dressed in red,
came crashing thro' the roof and landed on my bed.
I thought it was a dream, but quickly did I wake,
as soon as I heard Santa scream, "I want a piece of cake!"
CHORUS
Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, you are much too fat;
I was sleeping peacefully but now my bed is flat. Oh!
Santa Claus, Santa Claus, how much do you weigh?
I'm glad I'm not a reindeer that has to pull your sleigh!
He got up off the floor and said, "How do you do?"
I said, "My back is sore, my head is black and blue."
"So sorry!" he replied, and then he asked my name.
He offered me a ride, I said, "No, thank you just the same!"
CHORUS
I heard a "ho, ho, ho," the sleigh was in the sky.
but it was moving slow and wasn't very high.
It wobbled in the air, I hoped it wouldn't fall;
Said Santa, chewing cookies, "Merry Christmas, one and all!"
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