CHOCOSOCKS!
Ukulele, kazoos, random barnyard soundsLyrics
[Radio Crackle – DJ Voice Bursts In, Over-the-Top Energy]
DJ:
“Broadcastin’ live from deep-fried orbit on the buttery back end of Baconara IX, it’s your interstellar slicer of sound, DJ Crisco McGriddle—and boy, do I have a product for YOU!”
[Dramatic SFX – Laser sizzle + squishy plop]
“Have you ever looked at your feet and thought… ‘These toes could use more frosting’? Of course you have! Well now, straight from the good folks at Smokara Labs, introducing the one, the only…”
(echo) “ChocoSocks!”
[Jingle Begins – Ukulele, kazoos, and random barnyard sounds]
Singers (very chipper):
“ChocoSocks! They’re gooey and hot!
Slide ‘em on, your feet won’t rot!
Sticky, squishy, cocoa-powered flair,
Warning: Do not sit on leather chairs!”
(backup singers whispering)
"They drip."
[DJ Comes Back In, yelling over confetti cannon sound]
DJ Crisco:
“That’s right, ChocoSocks are 100% edible, 50% wearable, and 2% medically concerning—just how we like it! Need traction? Lick your heel! Lost in a sugar cave? Leave a trail of nougat crumbs! Is it fashion? Is it dessert? Is it legal?! Who cares?!”
[Fast Disclaimer Voice]
“ChocoSocks may attract ants, small raccoons, and space bears. Do not microwave while wearing.”
DJ Crisco (shouting over cowbell solo):
“Available now exclusively on Meatballa Prime, Cinnacore vending shrines, or just yell ‘STICKY FEET’ into a caramel tornado and wait three to five days!”
[End Jingle – heroic choir voice]
“ChocoSocks… for the soul. And your sole.”
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