Lyrics

[Verse 1]
Oh little Johnny threw a chair, but it wasn’t what it seemed,
He’s a perfect angel boy, or so his parents dreamed.
They wrote a note to tell me so, in language rather strong,
Apparently I’m the problem — and Johnny’s never wrong.

[Chorus]
Raise a glass to the paperwork,
Forms a mile long,
And sing a song for the parents who swear
That their child’s pure as dawn.
Oh, the red tape tangles tighter,
While the kids just roll along…
In the land of private schooling,
Johnny’s never wrong.

[Verse 2]
Some teachers count their paper stacks like treasures in a chest,
While I’d rather take the class outside and let them do their best.
But tick the box and mind the form, or you won’t last too long,
’Cause policy is king here, and Johnny’s never wrong.

[Verse 3]
Now Johnny’s got excuses, a thousand every day,
His mum writes letters longer than a novel by Hemingway.
But somewhere in the madness, I swear I did discover,
Among the paperwork and parents — a secret chicken lover.

[Chorus repeat]

[Bridge]
Maybe one day they’ll notice
What their children really need —
Not another angry email,
But some sunshine, air, and trees.
The playground’s full of shouting,
The inbox overflows,
A foghorn joins the chorus,
That’s just the way it goes.


[Final Chorus]
So raise a cheer for the madness,
Let’s laugh and play along,
We’ll keep teaching, they’ll keep preaching,
And Johnny’s never wrong.
Yeah in the land of private schooling,
Johnny’s never wrong.