Lyrics

Ya, this may be too true for me to say
But if I'm looking from the view of how you must see me today
I can tell you I've never ever had a clue.
Nothing feels very real.
When every single thought is new. As soon as one pops up it's gone so fast I can't say the words I think
got me Feeling really stuck.
I can't speak the words fast enough
That's when I see that I really fucked up.
This has gotta be higher than I've ever been definitely higher than I wanna be.
I Can barely see.
I can feel how hard I have to breathe.
Thinking when will I get some relief.
I'm In dis belief.
I feel like Heather had to feel kinda makes me feel bad until I feel the guilt for real.
Damn, I gotta chill,
Hope it don't kill me
Cuz I want to live and see my very best.
I confess I have regrets.
Cuz this Life I can't forget.
I hate the way I love this shit
Overthinking the way I gotta look like to everybody
Tried to apologize for how high I am without a lie.
Nope, that'll never work, even I don't buy that try.
Why
Do I
Even try
Cause it's all I've ever really loved
Is This a feeling that I wish I could get rid of?
Can't even try.
I'm too damn high to look anyone in their eyes.
I wear my truth all over my face.
I Think it's plain to see I'm just a broken disgrace.
Don't let excuses take the place
Of the truth that only I will ever taste
Oh my God, why are my thoughts in a race?
Can't keep pace, so I gotta give chase. Now I'm all over here full of fear
Inside wishing for sobriety,
Is addiction lying to me,
Or even if I listen up.
Do I really want to quit using drugs
The answer never comes
God why don't I care
I can understand my thoughts so rare
Into my writing To ask for truth and bare
an honest answer
Hopefully, I will actually be fair.
Wait!
Would I actually lie to myself about not lying to myself?
What the hell?
No idea
Why I Outta
Try a lotta
I gotta
Spot a
Nothing much
With any luck
My mind Will just
Let reality rush back in a whole bunch
Hmm what will I have for lunch
Why is it when I'm high
I think Everybody knows the lie I hide inside
Maybe it's because I provide my eyes too wide
In every one of my replies
And then I realized
My pride denied my brain To comply
But why
Is this the way I am Going to die?
Don't think like that
I gotta fight back
All I can do is react
To the fact
I can't understand crap
Yes I'm talking this and that
It's worth knowing this is where my understandings at
Holy hell I might be perma twacked
The thought damn near gives me a panic attack
I hope I can deal with how I really feel until I can actually enjoy my chill. So what I feel feels real still
Now I can't believe
How did this happen again, right
When I choose a beat for my lyrics to eat.
I'll revive the vibe,
I’m never killing any beat
I will beat this addiction and overcome the damn mental affliction that comes alive inside of me never ever was able to confront the demons that deepen the depression that threatens my progression