Thomas Ridley’s Community Coup
Fast, theatrical synth-pop ballad with quirky vocals, dramatic flair, and offbeat energy. Wacky but catchy. A villain’s rise wrapped in charm, chaos, and carefully planned civic madness.Lyrics
Woke up sharp in my robe and tie
Made a spreadsheet for alibis
Checked the news, kissed my cat
Plotted power in a sunhat
The bake sale’s rigged, the raffle’s fake
The mayor’s in on every cake
I sent the PTA a bribe
In glitter glue and homemade vibes
I’m not evil, I’m just neat
Organized from head to feet
Polite, well-spoken, freshly shaven
With a smile that screams “invasion”
Step one: win hearts
Step two: stack charts
Step three: legally own the parks
Step four: rename the town
To “Ridleyville” and shut it down
It’s a coup, with a dance
It’s a hostile finance trance
No one’s harmed, it’s all quite civil
Just some fraud and puppet swivel
Oh no, here I go
Thomas Ridley runs the show
Clap your hands, salute the king
Who bought your freedom with a bagel ring
I charmed the nuns with bingo nights
Converted zoning into rights
I built a mall inside the jail
And hosted prom inside a bank sale
The judges sing, the cops wear hats
That say “Thomas is where the power’s at”
The school board thinks it’s “cute and bold”
But they’ve signed their budget to my gold
Don’t scream, don’t pout
Just watch the ballots glitch and shout
One by one the votes are filed
Into my very well-dressed pile
It’s a takeover with jazz hands
Rebellion in elastic bands
A dance recital for the state
Where Ridley curates all your fate
Oh yes, it’s true
Thomas Ridley owns the zoo
He fed the lions all the lawyers
Now he runs the county’s foyer
City Hall? A theme park now
Council meets inside a cow
With puppet shows and funnel cake
Democracy’s just mine to fake
I’m the king of small-town flair
Tyrant in a rocking chair
Ruling with a bingo card
And passive-aggressive greeting yard
This isn’t theft, this is finesse
A power grab in Sunday dress
Just trust my charm, ignore the plot
I love this town — it’s all I’ve got
Oh no, yes it’s true
Thomas Ridley’s over you
From the garbage trucks to morning news
This wacky crown is in full use
So rise and clap
Don’t ask how
Just bow to Ridley’s kingdom now
It’s not a coup if it’s in rhyme
It’s just aggressive civic time
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Thomas Ridley’s Community Coup
Fast, theatrical synth-pop ballad with quirky vocals, dramatic flair, and offbeat energy. Wacky but catchy. A villain’s rise wrapped in charm, chaos, and carefully planned civic madness.