Lyrics

“So Long, Asda - You’ll Be Just Fine”
(A Comical, Passive-Aggressive Country Exit Song)

(Verse 1)
Well, I’m packin’ up my dashboard, sayin’ my goodbyes,
Leavin’ behind the meetings and the PowerPoint lies.
No vision, no strategy, just egos in suits,
It’s a miracle we made it, but hey, here’s the truth.

(Pre-Chorus)
There’s no urgency here, just folks spinnin’ their wheels,
Same damn talks, same blank stares—it’s surreal.
But don’t you worry, the ship’s in good hands,
Nia, Charles, and Gwilym got all your plans.

(Chorus)
So long, Asda, I’m movin’ on,
Where common sense hasn’t up and gone.
I’ll miss my team, but let’s keep it real—
Some leaders don’t know strategy from a Happy Meal.
Oh, I’ve done my best, but my patience is through,
You’ll be just fine… or maybe you’ll stew.

(Verse 2)
I gave you resilience, some tools for the trade,
But let’s be honest, some progress? Delayed.
No clarity, no people focus, just noise,
And a room full of toddlers who think they’re big boys.

(Pre-Chorus)
But hey, don’t panic, you’re in “good” shape,
With plenty of leaders to polish the tape.
Just smile and nod, keep playin’ the game,
While I set my sights on somethin’ less insane.

(Chorus)
So long, Asda, I’m movin’ on,
Where bullshit meetings don’t last till dawn.
I’ll miss a few folks, but not the inane,
When leadership’s absent, it’s hard to stay sane.
Oh, I’m off to greener, sharper pastures true,
But y’all have Nia, Charles, and Gwilym too.

(Bridge)
You say you’ll miss me, but I bet you won’t,
Just keep doin’ nothin’, that’s what you’re best at, folks.
I’ve left you stronger, so take my advice—
Find some direction, and stop being so nice.

(Breakdown Spoken)
Now don’t get me wrong, I love a challenge,
But when vision’s as clear as a puddle of sludge,
Even I know when to saddle up and ride.

(Chorus)
So long, Asda, I’m movin’ on,
Where progress and purpose are not oxymorons.
I’ll toast to the team I tried to defend,
But my sanity, my friends, needs a long happy end.
Oh, you’ll thrive someday—maybe once I’m through,
At least you’ve got Nia, Charles, and Gwilym too.

(Outro)
So here’s my goodbye, I’ll leave y’all behind,
To talk in circles and waste precious time.
I’m off to Channel 4 where they might have a clue,
So good luck to you all… you’ll need it, it’s true.
(But hey, you’ve got leadership now… haven’t you?)