Lyrics

[INTRO]
In the quiet of the night, whispers fill the air,
A secret that I've kept locked safe and unfair,
Something that haunts me, a burden I must share,
'Cause every time I flush, I grip my heart in despair.

[VERSE 1]
It started as a joke on a ordinary day,
But here I sit confined, I’m starting to feel gray,
The porcelain throne is calling, but it's clogged in dismay,
Locked inside this bathroom, oh, what a price to pay.

[CHORUS]
Oh, I’m battling the toilet, in a war no one can see,
With drain cleaner and brushes, oh, the struggles that be,
Locked behind the door, with shame consuming me,
It’s something I haven’t dared to say, could this be destiny?

[VERSE 2]
The last storm hit hard, took me down to my knees,
With every failed attempt, my heart just wouldn’t ease,
Two brushes left defeated, in the whirlpool of unease,
Life's twisted little lessons, a joke blown in the breeze.

[CHORUS]
Oh, I’m battling the toilet, in a war no one can see,
With drain cleaner and brushes, oh, the struggles that be,
Locked behind the door, with shame consuming me,
It’s something I haven’t dared to say, this burden haunting me.

[BRIDGE]
But I found a solution, oh the day turned bright,
With a BDSM whip, I conquered the fright,
All jokes aside, I found strength in the night,
From the ashes of my shame, rose a warrior’s might.

[VERSE 3]
So now I stand victorious, it’s part of who I am,
A tale of clogged toilets, wrapped in a silly jam,
I’ll laugh at all the moments, with friends I'll make a plan,
To share our little secrets, in the bathroom, hand in hand.

[CHORUS]
Oh, I’m battling the toilet, oh, the laughter set me free,
With drain cleaner and brushes, now it’s just comedy,
Locked behind the door, but I’m embracing my story,
It’s something I haven’t dared to say, but now it’s glory.

[OUTRO]
So I'm going to hold my head high and poop like never before. Now I can always clean up a clogged toilet with a whip.

By the way, once I also pooped on my dog. No shame