Lyrics

I took a free refill at the corner store,
Next thing I know, I'm face down on the floor.
Didn’t pay the five cents for a plastic bag,
Now my ribs are broken, and my body’s lagged!
I jaywalked once, just tryna get home,
Didn’t see the Bat when he punched through my dome.
Woke up in traction, my arms in a sling,
Guess crossing the street is a capital thing?
Oh Batman, please, it was just a small crime,
I stole a pack of gum, now I’m in here full-time!
My medical bills are stacking up high,
You broke my damn legs for swatting a fly!
Oh Batman, please, let me off with a fine,
I loitered too long, now I’m legally blind!
I fed the pigeons at Gotham Square,
Didn’t know that Batman lived up there!
He swung from the rooftops, kicked me so hard,
Now I’m eating my meals through a hospital straw!
Tried to return a movie one day late,
Didn’t see him coming ‘til it was too late!
He hit me so fast, I spun like a top,
Woke up in Arkham—man, what is this cop?!
Oh Batman, please, it was just a small crime,
I stole a pack of gum, now I’m in here full-time!
My medical bills are stacking up high,
You broke my damn legs for swatting a fly!
Oh Batman, please, let me off with a fine,
I loitered too long, now I’m legally blind!
I wrote on a wall—just some chalk, nothing more,
Now I can’t breathe ‘cause my ribs are sore!
I littered one time, just dropped a receipt,
Batman flew in and knocked out my teeth!
Took an extra ketchup at a fast food joint,
Now my spine is cracked in 27 points!
He says "I am vengeance," but man, what’s the deal?
Does Gotham really need this much zeal?!
Oh Batman, please, it was just a small crime,
I stole a pack of gum, now I’m in here full-time!
My medical bills are stacking up high,
You broke my damn legs for swatting a fly!
Oh Batman, please, let me off with a fine,
I loitered too long, now I’m legally blind!
So now I just hide, don’t go out at night,
Batman might suplex me into the light.
Crime in this city? Man, it’s not worth the strife,
But neither is breathing, when Bats takes your life!