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I am the clumsiest bitch in the whole wide world!
I can't believe I've made it this far! I'm a clumsy girl!
I shouldn't run, or walk, sit, stand, or ever drive a car!
If I even make it to thirty, I'll say, "FUCK YOU!!! HARDY-HARDY-FUCKIN'-HAR!!"
When I was born, the doctors knew I'd be one to remember.
Boy, were they right, 'cause the first thing I did was slip on my own placenta!
Then mom and dad took me home, let me meet the family dog, and I pet it too hard, and it died.
That's right, my first day at my new home, and both of my parents already cried!..
I am the clumsiest bitch in the whole wide world!
I can't believe I've made it this far! I'm a clumsy girl!
I shouldn't run, or walk, sit, stand, or ever drive a car!
If I even make it to thirty, I'll say, "FUCK YOU!!! HARDY-HARDY-FUCKIN'-HAR!!"
Later on, in the third grade, I did a project for the Science Fair.
I did the potato radio, but it just ended up causing a scare.
See, as soon as I set it all up, I tripped on a hair, flew into my project, and got impaled by the potato wires!
Opened my mouth say, "Ow!", but instead K.F.I. radio came out of it, and all my teeth caught fire!
I am the clumsiest bitch in the whole wide world!
I can't believe I've made it this far! I'm a clumsy girl!
I shouldn't run, or walk, sit, stand, or ever drive a car!
If I even make it to thirty, I'll say, "FUCK YOU!!! HARDY-HARDY-FUCKIN'-HAR!!"
I can't eat without choking!
I can't tickle someone without poking (their eye out)!
You gotta be fuckin' joking!
Can't even do a drug without overdosing! (That's why I cry out)-
I am the clumsiest bitch in the whole wide world!
I can't believe I've made it this far! I'm a clumsy girl!
I shouldn't run, or walk, sit, stand, or ever drive a car!
If I even make it to thirty, I'll say, "FUCK YOU!!! HARDY-HARDY-FUCKIN'-HAR!!"