Lyrics

I wanna be a gopher
Who digs holes in the face of government!
I wanna be a slam-dancer
Who eats pickles in the alleyway!
I wanna be a PUNK
Who wears diapers at the tenement!
I wanna be a chess master
From the San Fernando Valley! YAY!!

But Uncle Troy already told me,
"Be careful of the potholes that mark
The roads in Mississippi,
Where the rain, it always falls,"
And then Uncle Troy fell in the toilet
'Cause he was blind and one foot tall,
And there was no one there to save him
At all!

I wanna be mountain lion
Who hunts down the fascist regime!
I wanna be a jumbo jet
That flies fast with demon's wings!
I wanna be a happy tree
That Bob Ross painted into the scene!
I wanna be the Liberty Bell,
And never have any reasons to RING!!

What would Uncle Troy say?
He'd probably tell me to join the N.R.A!..

But Uncle Troy already told me,
"Be careful of the potholes that mark
The roads in Mississippi,
Where the rain, it always falls,"
And then Uncle Troy fell in the toilet
'Cause he was blind and one foot tall,
And there was no one there to save him
At all!

Oh, bullet holes in my Nintendo!
Yeah! Gotta find me a real friend, though!
HEY!! Fuck all the ducks that eat bread, bro!
NO!! No more time to pretend-o!..

What would Uncle Troy do?
He'd tell me to take a shit in my own hand, and throw it at you!!..

But Uncle Troy already told me,
"Be careful of the potholes that mark
The roads in Mississippi,
Where the rain, it always falls,"
And then Uncle Troy fell in the toilet
'Cause he was blind and one foot tall,
And there was no one there to save him
At all!

Rest In Feces, Uncle Troy!
Rest In Feces, Uncle Troy!
Rest In Feces, Uncle Troy!
Rest In Feces, UNCLE TRRROOOOOOYYYY!!!