Lyrics

Friday night, the grease was flyin', Kiwanis Hall was bumpin'
All you can eat cod and hushpuppies, my stomach started thumpin'
Had about six plates piled high, coleslaw drippin' down my chin. Thought I was invincible, a champion from deep within

But the walls started closin' in, the drums began to beat

A rumble in my trousers, a fiery, fishy heat
Oh, I soiled myself at the fish fry, a culinary crime
Wish I'd stayed home and watched TV, wasted all that precious time!

Tried to play it cool, y'know, like nothing was amiss
But the aroma 'round the table, reeked of tartar sauce and... this. Heard Mrs. Higgins sniffin', saw the kids point and stare

Tried to blame it on the dog, but Fido wasn't even there!

But the walls started closin' in, the drums began to beat

A rumble in my trousers, a fiery, fishy heat
Oh, I soiled myself at the fish fry, a culinary crime
Wish I'd stayed home and watched TV, wasted all that precious time!

Went to the restroom, mortified, tryin' to salvage some pride

Wipin' and a-whimperin', wishin' I could run and hide
Then Uncle Jerry walked in, lookin' nervous, holdin' a mop Said, "Son, we gotta talk, this ain't just a fishy flop."

He pulled me 'side the urinal, his face was pale and grim

Said, "Your momma and me, back in '79... a little somethin', somethin'."
My jaw dropped to the floor, lower than the greasy stains

Turns out my "Uncle" Jerry, was the reason for my pains!

But the walls started closin' in, the drums began to beat

A rumble in my trousers, a fiery, fishy heat
Oh, I soiled myself at the fish fry, a culinary crime
And found out my Uncle's my Dad, all at the very same time!

Yeah, my Uncle's my Dad, at the Kiwanis Friday night
Guess heredity explains why my digestion ain't quite right!

Fish fry... never again... never again...