Big bitch John

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You a Bitch, John [Country stomp, twangy guitar, spoken verses] [Verse 1] John walked in, big chest puffed out, Whole lotta words—no idea what he's talkin’ about. I said, “I call it like I see it, buddy, that’s my thing.” Then the truth walked in when I started to sing. Got a great big torso but a weak little spine, Says, “Don’t involve me,” then he crosses the line. You can polish them boots till the daylight’s gone, But they still walk backward when the heat comes on. [Chorus] You a bitch, John, bless your oversized heart, 300 plus horsepower, won’t even start. Got a big ol’ bark from behind your fence, Then you play confused when it’s time to make sense. You a bitch, John, go on, sing along, If the boot don’t fit, why you hate this song? [Verse 2] You’re a heavyweight champ when I ain’t around, Throwin’ big opinions in a little-bitty town. But face to face, now you’re Switzerland, “Whoa, let’s settle down, I’m a peaceful man.” You can hold your beer, you can hold a grudge, But an honest position takes a little too much. Bought a belt buckle bigger than a dinner plate, Just to hold back all that dinner you ate. [Chorus] You a bitch, John, bless your oversized heart, Three hundred plus horsepower, won’t even start. Got a big ol’ bark from behind your fence, Then you play confused when it’s time to make sense. You a bitch, John, go on, sing along, If the boot don’t fit, why you hate this song? [Spoken bridge] Now, John… Nobody asked you to wrestle a bear. Just tell the damn truth, And we’ll call it square. [Final chorus] You a bitch, John, there it is, Could’ve minded your own damn business. But you took that stage, so you better learn the tune, Can’t throw your shade then blame high noon. You a bitch, John, come on, sing along, Just four little words and a country song. [Spoken outro] That’s John with an H… Or Jon without. Either way, You know who I’m talking about.