Call the president

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# 🎸 “CALL THE PRESIDENT!” *An AAA Tow Truck Comedy Song* **[Intro – Spoken]** Another day on the road, another car to tow, Helping stranded members wherever we go. Everything's normal, everything's fine… 'Til my supervisor asks me for the NATIONAL LINE! **[Verse 1]** Clocked in early, got my boots on tight, Flatbed's ready, gonna save somebody's night. Helping out members, doing what we do, Just another day in that AAA blue. Then my supervisor turns and looks my way, Asks me one question that'll haunt me every day. She says, “Hey, what's the national number?” And my brain takes a vacation six feet under! **[Pre-Chorus]** I could've said a number, I could've played it cool, But apparently my brain forgot the golden rule. I looked her dead in the eyes, didn't even hesitate… **[Chorus]** “THE PRESIDENT!” I said with pride, Like the White House was our roadside guide! She meant AAA, the national line, But I sent that woman straight to 1600 Pennsylvania Drive! Now we're all laughing, can't catch our breath, Might've just embarrassed myself to death! I'm supposed to tow cars, get 'em back on the road, Not call the commander-in-chief for a tow! HEY! CALL THE PRESIDENT! TELL HIM WE'RE ON OUR WAY! AAA's got a flatbed, And we've got a breakdown today! **[Verse 2]** She probably wanted a number for the job, But instead she got a punchline from the whole damn squad. One second serious, next second we're gone, Laughing like idiots till the tears rolled on. A minute went by, then another minute more, We were laughing so hard we couldn't talk anymore. Forget the paperwork, forget the dispatch line, That presidential answer was a legendary crime! **[Pre-Chorus]** Now every time the phone rings, I wonder who's in charge, Is it AAA dispatch or the Secret Service at large? If the president gets stranded somewhere out of town, You know who's got the flatbed that'll come rolling around! **[Chorus]** “THE PRESIDENT!” I said with pride, Like the White House was our roadside guide! She meant AAA, the national line, But I sent that woman straight to 1600 Pennsylvania Drive! Now we're all laughing, can't catch our breath, Might've just embarrassed myself to death! I'm supposed to tow cars, get 'em back on the road, Not call the commander-in-chief for a tow! HEY! CALL THE PRESIDENT! TELL HIM WE'RE ON OUR WAY! AAA's got a flatbed, And we've got a breakdown today! **[Bridge – Music Stops, Spoken]** Supervisor: “What's the national number?” Me: “For what? The president?” *Dead silence.* *Somebody snorts.* *Everybody loses it.* Me: “WHAT?! YOU DIDN'T SAY AAA!” **[Guitar Solo – Ridiculously Over-the-Top]** *Cue the sound of a flatbed air horn, an eagle screech, and the national anthem played on a banjo.* **[Verse 3]** I'm a tow truck driver, I'm a professional guy, I can load up a car with the sun in my eyes. I can change a tire, jump a battery too, But ask me one vague question and I'll summon the crew! The boys in the shop won't let this one die, “Hey, Zach, did the president call you tonight?” I'll be hearing that joke till the end of my days, Might as well put the White House on my next résumé! **[Final Chorus – BIG, LOUD, EVERYBODY SINGING]** “THE PRESIDENT!” I said with pride, Put a presidential beacon on the passenger side! She meant AAA, the national line, But my brain put the whole damn country on the line! We're all laughing, the whole crew's in tears, That's the funniest thing we've heard in years! I came to tow cars, not run the nation, But I just made the shop's Hall of Fame rotation! HEY! CALL THE PRESIDENT! GET THE FLATBED ROLLING FAST! THIS JOKE'S GONNA FOLLOW ME TILL MY LAST TOWING SHIFT HAS PASSED! **[Outro – Spoken Over Fading Guitar]** “Hey, boss… if the president needs a jump-start