Both Hands Free

Lyrics

[Verse 1] I kept a key beside the coffee tin And a list of plans you never started Your mother’s voice filled every room While you called our almost-life your promise I learned the shape of waiting there Years folded underneath the table You said, “Soon, when she’s okay” But soon was just another label [Pre-Chorus] I saw the child you couldn’t leave And disappeared beside him Every time you pulled me close You made another place to hide in [Chorus] I’m walking out with both hands free No more future held above me No more sorry, no more blame No more loving you through the same old pain You can call it anger, call it cruel I call it learning what you wouldn’t do I loved the man you said you’d be Tonight I choose the woman leaving me [Verse 2] You knew exactly where to press Then cried when I became a fire You changed the story mid-sentence Made my hurt look like desire We broke, repaired, rejoined the wreck Made apologies our ritual A kiss, a promise, one more night Then back inside the original [Pre-Chorus] I wore your guilt like borrowed clothes And called the weight devotion But love can’t grow where every step Is punished for its motion [Chorus] I’m walking out with both hands free No more future held above me No more sorry, no more blame No more loving you through the same old pain You can call it anger, call it cruel I call it learning what you wouldn’t do I loved the man you said you’d be Tonight I choose the woman leaving me [Bridge] I’m not abandoning your mother I’m not abandoning you I’m abandoning the little room Where I kept making excuses true Your fear is yours to face now Your promise is yours to prove I won’t be the proof of patience For a life you never choose [Final Chorus] I’m walking out with both hands free The door is shut, the air can reach me No more fighting to be heard No more shrinking every word You can keep the plans you sold Keep the story that I’m cold I loved the man you said you’d be Now I’m coming back to me [Outro] The key is on the counter The future isn’t there I leave with my own name And room enough to breathe somewhere